help again please, I really don't know how to live on

Good evening everyone. A few months ago I created a theme here, though I put professional photos. For the last 5 years I have been suffering from orphan pathology, which directly affects my appearance, like acromegaly, but this is not exactly it, a rare genetic syndrome. But in this case, I'm not on a medical forum. The problem is in recent years precisely in social terms and in personal life, I also note that for the last 2 years I have been studying psychology, I have gone deep in many things, I know some topics completely, and analyzing all this happening, I understand that the problem is in my appearance, that this happens (negative assessment and perception, subconsciously) at the stage when a person, apart from seeing me, knows nothing more about me. I had to change already in 2.5 years - 4 teams, soon there will be a fifth, before that everything was fine, both in personal and in social and collective life, in personal life too, everything is missing, while I note that my personal qualities and communicative, I will now have them more than 5 years ago, when everything was still good, in all respects. Also, for this long time, I excluded all other points that could have been. it is clear that against the background of all this I cannot be constantly joyful, for very often I am depressed inside because of this. I tried to change clothes, I go constantly shaved, I use only expensive perfumes, I also tried different manner of communication, the result is the same. Unfortunately, I live in Ukraine, I don’t know about you, but her lookism is very strong.

What do you see? It is clear that the photo will not convey reality, but nevertheless.

How to be and how to get out of this situation?
Plastic surgery for me (bone and structural) is not realistic, because it is a lot of money, secondly, with my disease, changes constantly occur, so there is no expediency

I have bypassed almost all psychologists in my city, there is no result. I also learned the sad fact that people will never tell a person directly for their appearance (perhaps only in very rare cases) because the human brain is arranged this way, not to offend others, and it’s not ethical, but by attitude and perception and other signs this is will appear, read Lookism.



https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-m7q5-EqdQOzLs7sUYnlvAxsTLNpOTcw?usp=sharing