Fashion advice for a very short, fat ginger?

Wed 10 Feb, 2021 03:01 am
I've been looking all over the internet for fashion advice for petite-plus women and I'm finding it much harder to find clothes in my size. Because COVID19 makes it harder for me to exercise and shop, especially since I barely know my size anymore, I've gained about 40 pounds since I started my bipolar medications at 26 years old. I went from a healthy 125 pounds to being 160 pounds and the doctors say I'm "obese", but my boyfriend thinks my curves are beauty marks and I am NOT fat at all. Still, my jeans, which are all size 12 petite, are now getting way too tight on me, that now I think I'm a size 14 petite, that now I'm starting to realize I'm a "fat fat fatty bitch". I know that's a put down term, but it's aggravating my sense of style.
When I put on clothes in my closet, everything looks weird and I actually look fatter in the mirror. I want to hide my disgusting "beer belly" and look taller. I've looked up so many articles on women's fashion, and yes, I've seen LOADS of girly movies that involve fashion and designer labels- Devil Wears Prada is my favorite because I'm Anne Hathaway's biggest fan and she killed her performance as the struggling assistant to Miranda Priestly, Andrea Sachs. I'm also a cosplayer and a crochet fashion/ costume designer, I just crocheted a PERFECT butterfly cloche hat in beautiful vibrant colors for Valentine's Day- my incredible boyfriend is taking me away for the weekend for the holiday of romance by spending a night in a cozy hotel and having a four course fondue dinner at The Melting Pot, a five-star award winning fondue restaurant in Maryland. And yes, for that restaurant, even before COVID19 happened, reservations are ALWAYS required. They do a special fondue dinner event for romantic couples every year for Valentine's Day, and this will be my first time going to that special swanky restaurant.
Though it will be my boyfriend's second time going there, it will be his first time in a couple decades, and it's his first time seeing the new remodel of the restaurant- they renovated everything a few years back somewhere around 2017.
Anyway, I feel like my tastes in ladies' clothes are fading because I'm drawn more and more to rock band shirts, turtlenecks, and Doctor Who, fantasy, and nerdy fandom shirts with superheroes and sci fi on them, much like my boyfriend. I also don't have any work clothes left because hardly anything fits anymore- I got rid of all of my work pants for office jobs. I did go buy some new slacks and a new suit jacket that "hopefully" matches together because both are solid dark colors that are on the gray-black color scheme, perfect for a job interview. I also bought a lovely pink floral dress, a new coral sweater that is soft and squishy, and a flowing dull pink skirt with vertical pleats from H&M, which I love. I love anything with vertical stripes or pinstripes and I love the color pink.
However, I don't know how to dress this fat body of mine. I feel like there's nothing I can wear that will make me look my age (I'm 32, but my face makes me look like a teenager), but will also make me look thinner and taller without washing out my face. The internet is telling me to wear nude colors on my feet- I hate nude colors like tan, beige, gray, and taupe- they make me look like a ghost. I have red hair, which means my skin is whiter than porcelain. I feel like anybody who is not white is prettier than me- Asian, Latina, Hispanic, and Black women look SO much prettier than me, it's horrible what my low self esteem is doing to me. I hate being a white chick being related to Irish, German, and British people.
I'm no taller than 5 feet tall, I'm exactly 60 inches tall. There's no way I can get any taller. I put on clothes and I look like a 12 year old fat kid in middle school. I want to look more mature and charming, without losing my confidence and my love of certain colors. With gingers, we hate the color yellow- yellow is my enemy because any yellow clothing I wear makes me look like I have Hepatitis C. I prefer bright and pastel colors like green, blue, purple, pink, red, silver, champagne (the only yellow colors I appreciate are metallic ones, that includes champagne and gold), and pairing them with normal earth tones like chocolate brown, denim, black, white, tweed, honey brown, and brown herringbone. But I still feel a little on the frumpy side with my clothes, but I'm not a complete disaster like my grandmother, who chose to wear clashing colored animal prints on her mismatched shirt and pants to my dad's funeral. My grandma is a psycho for wearing things that don't fit and clash terribly and never worked for an 80 year old. She wears incredibly inappropriate things, and she thinks I'm the weird one, which is why she hates me.
Other than that, the articles constantly contradict each other and they also suggest to buy from very expensive places. I never shop at Nordstrom, I've never even been inside Saks Fifth Avenue, and DSW, forget it. I buy clothes usually at Walmart, Goodwill, H&M (clearance rack and their sales, normally), Boscov's (clearance, rarely), Old Navy (only if it's clearance or on sale), and very rarely, Target, because I still have a money shortage, I have no income and no job, and I dropped out of college to take care of my widowed mom during the grieving process. I used to shop at Marshall's and Ross, but they're basically gutted because they have no new clothes for women, they're always out of everything, their return policies are a sham, and they never have my new size. I feel like I don't know what to look for anymore. The dress I bought at H&M is fantastic, but it's more of a spring dress and the V cut neckline is a little too low on the plunge side and I don't want to show my boobs too much, or at all. But because The Melting Pot is a very nice place, I don't think the pink fuzzy sweater and the pale pink skirt will be a good match for dinner either.
The dress code attire for Melting Pot is specifically "business casual", which I understand means, dress nice in nice pants, a nice blouse, or a flattering dress for ladies, but t shirts and jeans are not allowed. I've already helped my boyfriend Alexander pick out what he's wearing and I gave him a few simple tips on how to dress for men- he's wearing slacks, a button up herringbone shirt I picked out which looks UNBELIEVABLE on him, and a really cute dinner jacket from the men's section of Macy's, Ralph Lauren, on sale. He's got plenty of ties, so he's just going to pick one because there's no such thing as being overdressed for this date.
I want to look just as lovely for our date, but I also want to wear something in the color red or pink for this special holiday date to celebrate our relationship. But I feel like a soft cozy sweater and a skirt won't do it, especially since I have to wear pants anyway- it's going to be a low of 23 degrees outside on Sunday night. And since it's Maryland, it's supposed to snow this week. Maryland is notorious for bad winter weather in February, the most disgusting.
Anyone have any suggestions on what a fat, curvy, 'petite' woman with red hair should wear at all?
View best answer, chosen by anonymouse32
Wed 10 Feb, 2021 06:42 am
Most major clothing companies have their size specifics online.

Buy a tape measure and have your boyfriend measure you. Bust (around the widest part), band (,under your bust), waist (narrowest part), stomach (widest part), and hips (widest part). Add a half inch of play for your waist, stomach, and hips to account for the natural ups and downs you get when you get your period.

Voila, you now know your size.
Thu 11 Feb, 2021 03:10 am
True, but I'm also asking from a standpoint of how I should dress and how to find clothes that work on my body type. I still feel like the clothes I'm wearing are not in my age range anymore. I'm not sure a sweater and a skirt is good date night clothes for a business casual "semi formal" dress code restaurant evening coming up. I keep looking for better dresses to wear to this and I'm coming up with nothing and I have an extremely limited budget.
What kinds of lines are flattering on a ginger short fat person? Does the two thirds rule still apply? Do vertical lines still work? Should I wear something that looks ugly on me to see if it looks better on when I buy it and take it home? Should I wear clothes that show too much of my chest or just wear a paper bag?
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  Selected Answer
Thu 11 Feb, 2021 05:45 am
Don't buy ugly **** you don't like. It's not going to magically become wonderful the moment your credit card is charged. It's just a waste of money.

Vertical lines work for most people. A skirt and a sweater is probably fine for business casual.

Get yourself a book called Color Me Pretty. I own a similar book for body type but I can't find it right now.

Color Me Pretty will help you with finding more flattering colors.

What we wear is a combination of:
1) Color (s)
2) Fit
3) Cut (this includes length)
4) Style (Most women in the US are some combination of sporty, classic, and feminine. Exotic, alluring, and dramatic are less common here -- just Google these terms plus the phrase women's clothing and you should find examples)
5) Fabric (s)

Color - see Color Me Pretty. Also, as we age, our coloring changes, so there's a book called Color Me Younger but I am certain you don't need to be thinking about that right now.

Fit - use your measurements and always buy clothes that fit. Nothing will look right if the fit isn't there.

Cut - experiment but usually something which looks more hourglass is better for heavier women. This can mean belts, bust darts, back pockets that angle in, that sort of thing.

Style - sporty is essentially casual- jeans, tees, yoga pants, etc. Think Serena Williams, on and off the court.

Classic is often suits, sweaters if more tailored, work pants etc. Think Katharine Hepburn.

Feminine is lace, floral patterns, softer fabrics. Think Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail.

Exotic is cheetah prints, anything that looks foreign. Think the women of Black Panther.

Alluring is sexy, tight, low cut tops, short skirts and big hair. Think Peg Bundy in Married With Children.

Dramatic is capes, sweeping styles. Lots of evening gowns you see at the Oscars are dramatic but they can also be exotic and/or alluring.

If you ever people watch, look at women and see if you can pick out the 3 styles they favor the most. When I was a teenager, I fought with my mother a lot about clothes. Turns out she's mainly feminine and I am mainly sporty/classic. Hence the disagreements

Fabric can mean the difference between stuff you can just throw in the washing machine versus hand washing or expensive dry cleaning, so check labels when you can. Consider your comfort, too (pure wool is often itchy), and how thick a piece is if intend to layer it under something. A sweater going under a blazer can't be too chunky because it won't fit.

And have some confidence in yourself and hold your head high. There is nothing more beautiful.
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Sun 14 Feb, 2021 02:50 pm
boost your confidence (somehow) and let go of what others might say about you
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Sun 30 May, 2021 08:16 pm
have a fashion advice question.
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