Accused of Stealthing / breaking condom

If it's been more than IIRC 2 days, then Plan B is useless. That means waiting until either she gets her period or takes a pregnancy test-- and pregnancy testing shouldn't happen until a period is missed.

You have done all you can right now. So contact her in, say, 4 weeks at the latest, and find out. If it turns out she is pregnant, then insist on a paternity test even if she swears up and down it was just you.

If she does have your child, then I do hope you step up to do your part (not just financially of course). If you have to take her to court, then do so.

But that's a ways down the road, if it happens at all.

Chances are that she's not pregnant. But you need to protect your own rights in case she is.

And if you're still in a relationship, I would suggest getting out, even if you dodge the pregnancy bullet. She has shown her true colors to you, and they are not pretty.

There are two separate issues here.

1) The relationship seems over. End it. I would tell her to call me if there is a pregnancy and not to talk to me any more.

2) A pregnancy is possible, but not likely. If a fertile couple is trying to have a baby, the chance of a single time having sex leading to a pregnancy is about 5%.

3) There is a small chance that there will be a pregnancy. If this happens, the legal reality is that the choice of what to do is completely up to her. In this case, you should get a lawyer, exercise your rights (I would want to be a part of the life of any child of mine), and meet your responsibility (yes, you should spend time and money giving your child a good life).

4) A condom is not a very good form of birth control in general. When I started dating my girlfriend we talked about pregnancy. We talked about risks. We talked about what happens if we got pregnant.

In our case it is understood and agreed that abortion is not a possibility, and we are using a birth control method that is better than a condom. Any long term couple should have this conversation.

@ Baker67

#1 ..... The female is scared to death that she may get pregnant .... Scared to death and who can blame her? She is the one who might be carrying 'the can' for the rest of her life. Many males just run away.

In my world then the first thing I would say is that this should teach you a fundamental life lesson .... Do not go sticking your penis into people for idle sport. Indeed, avoid it at all costs or go for anal, then at least you cannot get them pregnant. This is not either a moral or religious standpoint, I have none and do not believe in that ... Rather it is pure pragmatism.

Now of course you have created a seriously nasty issue, because if she is pregnant and it is your activity which caused it .... then you are of course jointly fiscally responsible until the child is 18yr old .... plus if that child is brought to term then until you die you are a father and even if you ignore it all; then you are emotional and so that will never let you sleep well. Because that child will I assure you, will want you to be a text book/fairytale father to them .. That is a given set in stone.

Before I met and married my wife, I had never impregnated anyone and was DAMNED CAREFUL not to. Once my wife and I had our two planned children 18 months apart, then we were both immediately sterilised to ensure no mistakes.

In my time I have met several ladies who have had abortions and my take away from it is that in the dark of the night, not one of them had truly recovered. Abortion is an emotional scar so deep that it never leaves them. Abortion is for the female never an easy option. You seem to me, to be unpleasantly unaware of this reality.

To anyone in your position I would say 'silly boy' or something more colloquial ...... if you get away with it this time, if she is (was) not pregnant .... Then learn 100% not to do it again and if that means forswearing all coitus ... Then so be it.

Because if she is pregnant and she keeps it ... Congrats, you have just screwed your life up with a child that you probably do not want, via a woman you definitely do not want. Plus, you will of course screw up your own child's life.

Myself I found early fatherhood until they were maybe 16yr old, distinctly 'challenging'. As did my wife, because she is not a natural mother in many ways. But we have a 100% unfaltering rock solid relationship, we agreed 100% on how to bring the children up.

Further we were fiscally comfortable so there was zero issue for the children. They were loved and cared for, with every possible opportunity provided them .... Indeed both are now PhD's and happy, balanced adults.

Your child if it exists, with this female, will not have that start to life it appears and I doubt that end .... So the only sympathy I have here, is with the possible foetus. Not your or the female.

Do be aware this post is not 'Look at me' ... No this post is look at yourself @Baker67 ..... Because my wife and I got it right and how do you find yourself measuring up?

If you don't like the answer, then don't ask on an open forum is my advice.

It is remarkable how many ways I disagree with Teufel's post.

1) If two people have consensual sex, they are equally responsible for the consequences. Adult women are just as much adults any another other type of adult.

2) There is nothing wrong with sex for pure enjoyment. There is nothing wrong with casual sex.

3) A pregnancy is not a nasty issue.

4) Many people have abortions without being emotionally scarred.

5) There are several forms of birth control that don't require "both people" to get sterilized.

Speaking from the sex-positive perspective. The key to healthy sexuality is communication. There are all sorts of ways to enjoy sex from a lifetime monotonous relationship to a polyamorous relationship to casual sex with friends.

In any case, the best policy is to communicate. Birth control is rather important... as is discussing what will happen if a pregnancy occurs. If a couple talks this through respectfully, there is no reason they shouldn't bang away as they please.

Any unwanted judgement from outside the couple should be ignored.