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Old friend with kid, should I pursue relationship?

 
 
Reply Sat 2 Jan, 2021 06:14 pm
I'm 30, never married no kids, male.

A very nice woman(31) I was close to when I was in my teens is single, I am trying to decide whether I should reach out to her, and if I do should I pursue a romantic relationship.

I kind of ghosted everyone when I left high school and worked on getting my stuff together, I've got it together now and I am looking for a wife. She always had a special place in my heart and I think I do for her as well, and via cyberstalking on facebook I can glean she wants to find someone, and she seems to be the same kind of person she was, and that's the type of person I want.

I think my hang-up's are her child and age, I am wanting to have a few children myself. I think marrying someone you have such a history with seems awesome, and it might not be easy to understand but even if I found another great woman, I would always have sadness about her being such a great person either being alone or with someone not very good, the baby's daddy doesn't seem like a great guy.

I know no one has the answer, but I usually don't have such a hard time making decisions, I don't have a gut feeling either way, just sad.

Thanks
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 2 Jan, 2021 06:23 pm
@Registerit,
What, exactly, is your hang-up about her age?
Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Jan, 2021 06:29 pm
@jespah,
I would like to have two children of my own, I know women can have children for a lot longer time but there are more risks over 35.
Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Jan, 2021 06:45 pm
I said I don't have a gut feeling either way, but that's just in terms of pursuing a romantic relationship, I do have a gut feeling to reach out at least as an old friend, but I don't want to play with her emotions, I expect she will want a romantic relationship.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Sat 2 Jan, 2021 07:02 pm
@Registerit,
Amniocentesis. Adoption. Surrogates.

Seriously, it's a damned silly hang-up to have about someone. You're using it to avoid talking to her and seeing where things can go.
Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Jan, 2021 07:04 pm
@jespah,
Thanks, I appreciate it
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jan, 2021 02:25 pm
You could always wait and see how this turns out. That takes time you know. You’re jumping from just friendship into marriage. She may not even want that.

So just take this one day at a time. Just because she was friends with you as a teenager it doesn’t mean that she’s going to be that same person, in fact you should hope that she is not.

Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jan, 2021 02:55 pm
@PUNKEY,
Do you think it is okay to reach out to her even though I have no confidence that I will want a romantic relationship? I am about 100% positive that's what she will want and I don't want to toy with her emotions, she's kind of been through the ringer. Also, just to know where the response is coming from, are you a woman?

Thank you
0 Replies
 
Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jan, 2021 03:29 pm
I'm in the Midwest by the way, I know we have different customs than the coasts.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jan, 2021 03:38 pm
Seriously. Do you even know she has any interest in you more than a decade after high school? Give her a call, find out if she'd like to go for coffee and then go from there.


You are so far ahead of yourself with this.

Give her a call.
Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jan, 2021 04:00 pm
@ehBeth,
I'm just trying to make sure I'm not being inconsiderate.

Thanks
0 Replies
 
Registerit
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jan, 2021 04:28 pm
@ehBeth,
I'll reach out to her.

Thanks.
0 Replies
 
 

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