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Can a fetish just stop by itself?

 
 
amoniac
 
Reply Sun 29 Nov, 2020 11:29 am
This is maybe a pretty weird question, so I'll make it clearer.
I'm 19 and I have had a foot fetish for a really long time, even before I started discovering my body I remember feeling attracted to feet. However, two week ago it just stopped. I just stop being sexually attracted to feet, and all the fantasies(if you don't know this fetish well, these fantasies are like massaging feet, worshipping them or other stuff. Basically, when you have a foot fetish you like to submit to someone(a woman in my case) by being at their feet) that used to attract me now leaves me pretty blank(and I actually think what was attracting was more the submission than the foot itself, as I never felt attracted to footjobs, and was just attracted by foot worship, and sometime even the words "obeying" or "submission" or "worshipping"). I think I know why it happened, I started wanting having a real relationship with someone, wich really motivated me to get my life together and make an effort to become a real adult that can take care of himself and also to make an effort to look nicer and loose weight, and as I applied all those changes in my life I think I just started to see my fetish as something unhealthy, and I stopped wanting to be a slave and started wanting a relation where I'm on the same level as the other person because that's what love really is to me.
You may be wandering where my problem is since I sond like I'm living the happiest time of my life right now. In fact there are two problem:
1- I didn't even know this could happen before it actually did because before now I never felt bad with my fetish, and it's honestly kind of scarry wich bring to the next problem:
2- I've not been sexually active for two week now, wich may not seem so long for some of you, but I can tell you that before this happened I was really adicted to porn and masturbated at least one time a day(I know, I was scum). It's probably because I'm not sure if can really be turned on by a classic sexual intercourse, as I rarelly had any fantasies about them and I'm really scared to have one(wich is, I think, part of the reason why I developped this fetish in the first place).
As you can see these are pretty scary times for me, I really don't know what will be the outcome of all this, so if any of you guys think they can help me or if you just wanna talk about this then don't hesitate to respond, I would really appreciate it.
I know this is already a long message, but on a final note, if you have any fetish, you don't have to feel ashamed by this message, I don't care and I don't think you are disgusting for having or should get rid of it, if you like it then it's good for you mate Smile.
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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Nov, 2020 11:56 am
@amoniac,
Of course a fetish can just stop. People change. I don't see anything in your post that would scare me.

You are in a stage in your life where everything is changing. You have recently become a legal adult. You are more independent from your parents than you ever have been. You are probably having to take responsibility for things more than ever and you are now thinking about things like career and bills (which a couple of years ago were taken care for you).

What you are describing seems normal to me. We all go through it. This is the time in your life where you are figuring out what kind of adult you want to be. (I suppose that is a little scary... but it is perfectly normal).


amoniac
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Nov, 2020 12:17 pm
@maxdancona,
thank you for the answer, I just always beleived I would be stuck with this fetish forever and I felt pretty traped for some times, thinking I couldn't ever have an healthy relationship with a girl because of it, and maybe you can, but whenever I imagined myself fullfilling my fantasies it always felt unhealthy to me, and now that I feel like it's gone, I'm asking myself questions like "is it truly gone or am I just inhibiting myself because I don't want it anymore?" or simply "how do I get turned on now?".
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Nov, 2020 12:43 pm
@amoniac,
There are a lot of us who enjoy fetishes. As long as they are consensual, and don't hurt anyone there is nothing wrong with them. As you get older, you learn to think of your fetishes as games. Lots of us enjoy them with our partners as something fun.

When you have a relationship you will figure this out with your partner. There is nothing normal about a healthy relationship. A relationship is healthy if two people are giving to each other and meeting each others wants and needs. That can mean anything.

Many years ago, I had a very normal sex life. The woman I had been dating for a while said she wanted me to handcuff her to the bed and treat her "roughly". The problem I had at first was taking it seriously... it was an education. Neither of us knew what we were doing. I went and did some reading where I learned about safewords and the rest of what makes this particular type of kink work well. It turned out that I found it enjoyable.

If you are in a healthy relationship each partner is open to doing what the other one wants. Fetishes are sometimes a part of this.

Whatever type of relationship you are in, the key is communication.
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