Affair

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I was best friends with someone and we fell in love. He was married and the affair went on for a number of months and we planned a life together. In the end we told his wife and she was unexpectedly very forgiving and after A LOT of back and forth he chose her. He said he was in love with both of us but couldn’t leave her.

It is 10 months after she took him back and he is still contacting me saying he misses me and that he wants me to know he loves me. Everywhere I turn he’s there and I just can’t do it anymore. I love him so much and I want to be with him but I have accepted that can never happen and the fact that he keeps on contacting me is making me so depressed and unable to move on.

Every time I think will be the last but then something else always happens. It feels like he is doing this because he knows his wife won’t find out and therefore the only way of stopping it is to tell her what’s been going on so she can make sure he doesn’t contact me. Is it awful of me to tell her?

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 973 • Replies: 7

@Spin220,

Do this instead.

Next time he contacts you, tell him you can't do this anymore.

Then cut the connection and block his sorry ass on all forms of social media and communication. Block his number on your phone. And don't answer the door if he comes a-knockin'.

He is seeing you as his go-to second whenever things are at all complex or unpleasant or boring with his wife.

You do not have to play his game.

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@Spin220,

What an asshole! He is using you and lying to his wife.

You should cut him off completely. You got used and discarded by a scumbag. Take a little time to heal... and then put it behind you.

There is no way in hell I would ever talk to him again.

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@Spin220,

I think you can just block his number right?

You could talk to his wife.... but why bother? The wife knows who she is married to, you don't owe her anything.

My opinion is that your priority should be to just get out with zero drama. Just block him and move on. He doesn't deserve any more of your time.

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Ditto what Jespah and Max said

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@glitterbag,

This is the best advice you will get. Listen.

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@RABEL222,

I agree with Rabel

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@Spin220,

Stop accommodating him and enabling him. Make you and your happiness your number one priority. Even if that is foreign to you. The fact that he is still contacting you means he’s not concerned about your well-being especially after he went back to her. He made his bed, so to speak.

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Affair

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