My boyfriend beat me

If you love him so much that you don't want to make him suffer by pressing charges... then what does him hitting you tell you about how much he loves you?

You need to leave this man before it gets worse. And it will get worse. You should have talked to him before aborting the baby but regardless, he should NEVER NEVER hit you. It isn't your fault at all and you need to understand that. This man has issues that have nothing to do with you.

You need to leave and press charges because even if you get away he will only find someone else to hurt. Please remember that you are worth more. If you don't get out now, next time you might not be alive to write a message asking for help.

How can you love a boyfriend that beats you?Transfer the love for him to yourself...you need it more. Please find a pro you can discuss this with. Your life is at stake.

Welcome to A2K. I hope we can help you too.

Please leave at once! Your boyfriend needs professional
help and without it, he will be violent again. You do
him no favor in staying with him and allowing him to beat
you.

Your action will show him that it is acceptable to be violent
against women. If you love him then you must press charges and let him get professional help.

We have been together for two years and the other times when i have lost a child he hasnt done nothing, maybe the odd disappearance but he came back. This is the only time that he has hit me. but i am not sure as to whether or not to trust him again. i ask my mates to come to my house if i no that he is going to come and try to talk to me about wanting me back but i cant keep relying on them to be there. wot should i do about his kids. he has never hit them. he wouldnt hurt them but should i at least talk to their mother???

You keep worrying about everyone but yourdelf t_l. Right now you have to look out for yourself first. Then worry about the kids, him and your mates.

In another thread you wrote that you're only 17 years old.
You've had several pregnancies already, why don't you
use birth control? Your young body needs now a lot of
healing, good nutrition and you need to take care of yourself physically and mentally.

You are so young, please talk to your parents or someone
you trust, who can help you further.

Your friends won't be able to help you if he comes over to kill you. I know that sounds horrid but if he gets angry enough he very well could. Call the police. Get a restraining order. And send him to jail.

If your boyfriend hits the things he "loves" when they don't do what he wants them to do it is a very good thing that he does not have a baby to "love".

I know how it can feel, like you will never again get any to love you as much as he loves you. I have been there, it started with emotional abuse, which I dismissed, but when he beat the crap out of me (this was a long time ago), I wised up. I was afraid to press charges, but a good friend made me. It was the best thing I ever did.

If he hit you once and you go back, he will think it is ok to hit you again. Please, please leave him and cut him off completely - I mean no interaction, no phone calls, no nothing! If you see him somewhere, pretend you don't know him.

There is nothing that validates him beating you, I don't care what you did. The only person he loves is himself. t_l you need to get out. I know it can be hard after 2 years, but find someone you can trust to help you who will force you to do this. Please, I can't say it enough-leave.

Pressing charges will also put up a restraining order so he can't legallly come over and try to get back with you, if he does you can have him arrested again. This will help if you know you cant have your friends around all the time. Also, change your phone # and any other way he has to get in contact with you. And you say you love him too much to make him suffer charges, he certainly loved you enough to make you suffer a beating, I think charges are appropriate.

Regardless of how you feel, it is a huge thing that he put his hands on you even if it is only once. It will happen again unless you take action. Please, please get out of the relationship and press charges.

I'm joining in with everyone else by saying to leave now. Talk to your parents, talk to a counselor and talk to the police. It was only hard for him to hit you the first time. Now that he has, it will only get easier for him to do it again. It was NOT your fault, and you did not deserve to be hit.

I'm confused by your question about his kids. Does he have custody of his kids? Are you taking care of them or are they with their mother and you are thinking that she should be warned about his behavior?

i no all of that. but that doesnt help. i got a phone call this morning, one of his kids have been admitted into hospital. i cant help but feel that it is my fault. i am going to report him for harrassment coz he will not stop calling me, then i am going to talk to emily and see what happened before i decide to go ahead and report him for abuse to me and maybe even the kids.

their mother is not allowed custody of them. it was disallowed by the courts after she had been in rehab for drugs and she was still taking crack. She sees them two hours everyday after they have been to nursery with supervision.

If he hit you and put a kid in the hospital there's a pattern of abuse. Don't feel guilty. It's not you. Work on standing up for yourself. You can help others too. Find a way to let the hospital know you've been beaten by him so they know the kid is in danger of being beaten again. Chances are the kids mother may have been beaten and may be afraid to let authorities know.

ok thanks i never thought of it that way. i am thinking of ringing his ex and telling her about the girl but im not sure that she will be able to cope if she is still on drugs. What do you think i should do?????

CALL THE POLICE.

ok get the point

i dont particularly want my parents knowing so how do you suggest i go about doing this, i mean if i give them my name and address then they are bound to end up on my doorstep, for whatever reason. It int like im in trouble or owt is it but they wont believe me, they never do!!!

I am not trying ot be mean. I truly am afraid for you and for the children. Honey, we don't want you to end up in the hospital with a broken face or worse. This is not healthy.

I know you love him. We don't choose who we love. But love isn't going to keep this man from smacking you around. He has a problem and that problem will never go away. So you have to.

I am sending someone to talk to you. She has been where you are and I think she could reall help you. You should get a PM some time soon provided she is not on vacation or something.