In a good relationship, both people
get what they want and need. Each person accepts, respects, cares for and appreciates the other.
Here is my problem with your relationship...
1) He is insulting your body. I have been in several relationships with women, including with women who have literally pushed another human being through their vagina. I have always loved the bodies of the people I have been with. I can't imagine insulting a woman in this way.
2) He is blaming you for his problem. Yes, I will admit it... many men have a problem keeping an erection (especially as we age). A real man
will accept this as his problem.. and in a healthy relationship a couple will talk openly it, it is part of working together to have a great sexual relationship.
3) He doesn't seem to care about your pleasure. I am going to take a wild guess that he doesn't ever give you oral sex
. When I have problems keeping an erection.. my concern becomes making sure that my partner is happy. I know what she likes, and I do what she likes (which often involves helping her to finish with my mouth). Of course, this is mutual.... she knows what I need (and this is awesome).
4) You are talking about sex toys as an obligation
. Sex toys are supposed to be something to play with. They are fun... a little hot sauce on an already exciting meal. Reading your comments about sex toys is like reading about an exercise regimen for someone trying to get into police academy. You aren't doing this for your pleasure... but to impress your boyfriend/drill instructor who is judging your performance.
You have to decide what you want in a relationship. But what you are describing; a partner who is insulting your body, blaming you for his problems, and demanding that you please him.
This isn't a relationship I would want to be a part of.