Stuck in life

Fri 23 Oct, 2020 04:51 am
Hello , tldr at the bottom , i have been a civil engineer student for the last 8 years . I really dislike the field and i am not interested in it . However, i was still attending this university because i thought it was my only way out of the small village that i grew up . I made friends, fell in love, travelled , worked here and there and even attended seminars about photography . In general, i was trying to find something else, something better for me , while i was away .

Nowadays though, in the coronavirus days, i am staying at one of my parents' apartments, at my village. My father found me a no paying job at the field , in hopes that he could make me like the field and so i decided to give it one last chance . The work , although tiring , was ok .

A really nice girl started talking to me this summer, we fell in love, we got together and we want to continue as serious as possible . It has been 4 months since we started dating and we are head over heels for each other since day 1 . However, she has a bachellor in anthropollogy, a graphic designer degree and i have ... nothing .

I feel like i am in the centre of the ocean with nothing around me and i just . . . float . I really want to be able to .. swim properly , but i am stuck . I have no real job , close to zero practical skills and i am penniless . My years of... exploring showed me that i am interested in psychology and i believe i'd really like to follow that but i have no money for another university, i am a bit afraid that even if i do get to follow it , and i feel like my parents won't help me this time .

My girlfriend and i are now trying to make my own portfolio of some DSLR photos that i have shot so that i can start going around at different photography agencies and ask for a job . I am willing to do my best and fight but i still feel like i am stuck . . . What should i do ?

TL;DR : I am stuck in life , i have been to a university i really disliked, tried my best but it really is not for me . I took part in a few photography lessons/seminars and i am trying to find a job as a photographer . I am really interested in following a social studies degree - such as psychologist but i have no money, little to no practical skills and i believe i will have negative reactions from my family . My gf and i are currently trying to make me a portfolio in order to find a job as a photographer . What should i do with my life ?

PS : I 'd like to apologise in advance for any grammatical or vocabulary mistakes, english isn't my native language
Fri 23 Oct, 2020 05:22 am
Have you talked to your parents about this at all? Don't dismiss the idea out of hand. At least turn thinking they won't support you to knowing they won't. Or they may surprise you.

We spend a good third of our lives working. It's great to love it. But a lot of work is dull and blah. You will probably have to go through at least some of that in order to get to the good stuff.

So talk to your folks about wanting to make a change. But this is not you just holding out your hand for more money. Rather, offer a partnership. Can they help you change course and go to school part time? And you would work at a paying job part time. You would open an account and save as much of your salary as possible. And your intentions are to pay them back for their tuition expenditures, in full, for both a new degree and your earlier studies. Make the deadline 10 or 15 years from now.

This way, you cut any argument about money off at the knees. You show determination and responsibility.

Work a job during this time for money and no other reason. You're not climbing the corporate ladder. You're just there to earn money. Your love or lack of love for this job is immaterial. It's just a cash register to you.

Go to school for both psychology and photography/art. I say art because there are a ton of photographers these days. A background in art will make your photos better.

I am also suggesting spreading out your academic pursuits because you don't want to get stuck in a rut again if you turn out to dislike both of these interests.

Also, keep taking pictures, and start to submit to contests, either local or online. Build that portfolio.

You're going to be busy. And you probably won't have a lot of money for dating. Your girlfriend sounds lovely and understanding. I hope she stays that way.
Fri 23 Oct, 2020 11:27 am
Thanks for the amazing reply , you actually took a burden of my shoulders by suggesting this perspective .

She truly is , i hope so too !
Fri 23 Oct, 2020 12:06 pm
Oh, my pleasure! I try to give people the kind of advice I wish I had gotten at your age. Smile
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