I have to respectfully disagree with your comments about "meaning well" Borat.
These parents, particularly the mother, are toxic narcissists.
One of the things they rely on are people saying things like "They mean well"
No. They do not.
I suppose it's generally accepted that most parents, or people in general, mean well and sometimes fail.
These people do not mean well....ever.....at all. Even on the occassions things do turn out well, it comes with a price tag later on.
To the OP, I feel very badly for you.
Trust your instinct that there is something very very wrong. But....you are not the problem.
Don't let others invalidate your experience, and what you know to be true by statements like, "it's not so bad", "they meant well" and the litany of other things you hear.
Dealing with narcissists is a soul crushing exercise in futility and frustration. Especially when it's with someone like a parent who you want to believe cares for you.
Many people enventually realize the only way to live any sort of happy life is to completely extricate themselves from both the narcs, and anyone who tries to gaslight you into feeling guilt for your own existence and enables the narc to continue their torture.
And no, torture is not too strong a word. I can easily feel your misery, and inability to escape the pain they inflict. It permeates every area of your life, doesn't it?
To start, there is a ton of great videos out there about narcs, presented by professionals. Watch a few, and I guarantee very quickly you will be saying "omg, that me!" When you read the comments made by others, you'll feel like you found your people.
You may decide you need therapy, or a support group. That would be a great thing.
I hope you come back and share more.
And remember, your experience is valid. Trust yourself, you are not, for instance "making a big deal about nothing".
Other people who are close to you might indeed be the primary ones telling you things like that. Perhaps because if they can keep you around to be the scape goat, you won't leave, making them the next in line for the narc to attack.