Be honest with you, I don't think your relationship gonna work out. It might be for a while or so, but in the long end, as in lasting eternity (like marriage couples) it won't.
I seriously don't mind student date their teacher, so I am actually against most in here. But I DO MIND about the age gap. I don't care if the teacher is like 27 and the student is like 22, or like the student is the Undergrade and the teacher is the Graduate. Because I know some couple in my school, where the teacher date this girl and she is an Undergrade, while he a Graduate and he teach there part time.
But your case is different. You guys have such a big age gap, there a lot of things you think you might have in common now, but doesn't mean later in the long run. You know, life is long, things happen unexpected you know. Can you grarantee that you don't find any other men interested beside this man in your entire life? I doubt so because no one know what the future bring for them.
Be honest with me, you don't feel akward if your parents know about you guys? And let say you guys get marry later OK, you don't feel weird that a man that age call your father or mom "Dad, Mom"?
Well, doesn't matter what we think actually, it all up to you. Because I learn something in life, I learn that if someone don't want to listen, you can spend the rest of your life tell them, they will NEVER listen.
But since you ask for Input and Advice, I will tell you what I think. Since all the things going with your family in the past and stuff, I do not recomment you tell them. If you love him so much, just keep dating him secretly, that all I can tell you.
But thrust me, it hard to live in life with everyone eyes stare at you or gossip about you. If you don't believe me, how about give it a try, get marry with him, be together with him and let people around you know about it and see how they react and stuff, then at that time, you will know if you make a right choice or not. Sometimes it hard to tell if your choice is right or wrong until you actually been there, done it in order to know.
Well, it just my opinion, I am just as young as you are, I am only 21, so it like a friend to friend advice from someone your age. No offense if I say anything wrong.
Sorry about my Grammars, I have not been in the US for long.
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I feel for you; I could be way off here, but it sounds to me like the life you've lead thus far has been far from charmed (with the exception of this guy that seems to love you). I don't mean to put you down; there's lots of people, myself included, who have had to deal with great obstacles at a young age, though it can feel like we're alone, especially when we're in a situation like high school, with it's slightly skewed realities and perception-based values.
I see a great deal of hope for you, my friend. Believe it or not, there are many, many people who either have had similar lots in life or even worse; one reason that it feels like you're so alone in facing this difficult life is that you were actually in high school! Not only that, you completed it! This is rare and tells me that you are a bright, determined woman with potential for greatness. Most people with your background have dropped out of school long ago--there are many and they really do exist--they just didn't have the strength to stick to it like you did. Good for you.
About your relationship. You are no doubt lucky to have found someone in life who cares so deeply about you. That's one; unfortunately, having a one-person support system is not enough in this world to lead the life you deserve...life is just too unpredictable. As you live life, you will gradually surround yourself with more and more people who have this deep love (I don't necessarily mean sexual desire, though that wouldn't necessarily count them out) and unconditional acceptance of you. You will eventually join this group, too, becoming a member of the circle of people, the auras, who love you, respect you, accept you, and want what's best for you. Family or no family, friends or no friends, I believe that we are all the center of our own worlds, and one day you will be able to step up to that role and be the center of your own world.
The sequence of events as to how you will achive this is not yet clear to you; it is different for every individual. Please have faith, though, that it will happen; you will become someone who is loved and accepted by a handful of individuals, including yourself (you're a smart and dedicated person, after all!). As this state of being, I call it "having support" becomes more cemented, you will find that the obstacles you have faced in life will begin to break down. Life will still be tough, but you will have the support system you need and deserve to handle it.
To this point I've spoken in general terms. Should you stay with this guy, you want to know? Please know that everything I've written about to this point has been based on my own experiences; my opinions that I'm about to give to you are not based on my own experiences, just my gut reaction to your story.
The guy: keep him as a friend. He has said he will always care about you, no matter what. Take him up on the offer! It's wonderful that you have found someone to be in your corner, someone who loves you and believes in you. Because of where he is in life and where you are in life, the balance of power in the relationship (the wonderful sozobe has talked about this) is overwhelmingly stacked in on his side. I worry that having this powerful force as a committed relationship in your life will prevent you from progressing through life and developing a network of love and support that you will need. If you're not in a committed relationship with him, though, and he makes good on his promise to be there for you, all that power will become a solid foundation of support; his aura will help kindle yours, not consume yours, and you will find that in leading a life that isn't quite so fastly entwined with his, you will find that you have more opportunities to live life and naturally add people to your support network.
My thoughts are with you; good luck.
-m
If I were you I'd introduce your lover to your mother in a public place--and make the first encounter short.
Postponing a baby until you're used to the wider world outside the schoolyard gates is an excellent idea. With your background you know better than most girls/women your age that complete idiots can have babies, but it takes mature, responsible people to rear them.
As for your romance--perhaps it will last. Perhaps it won't. Don't be afraid to hang on--and don't be afraid to let go. You are still young and your life right now should be full of a variety of delightful possibilities.
Good luck.
