You're in your 20s, yes?
This is a time of pretty much everyone's life where they want to break away. You're not the first person ever in the history of ever to feel lost when you returned to what was once home, particularly after at least a few months away. Talk to some college freshmen over their first December break and you'll hear the same things you're saying.
Why can't you tell this woman that you like her? And I mean like - you open with like
, not with let's run away together
. You don't go from 0 to 60 in relationship building, because inevitably someone gets left behind (yes, there are exceptions. They are few and far between, far, far fewer than the movies would have us believe).
If this woman is dating someone else but neither engaged nor married then feel free to tell her you like her. If she is free, then of course tell her!
And if she's engaged, etc., then there's no reason you can't have a conversation or two with her. You know, like you would with anyone. You may find your dream woman picks her teeth or something or other that crashes her back down to reality with the rest of us mortals.
And as for the rest of it, save your $ and go elsewhere, just like countless people have done before and will do after you and I are dust. It's 2020, not 1120. You were born in Poughkeepsie (or wherever). There is no reason whatsoever for you to live and die there, too.
Go and experience the world.