@Real Music,
I will say this.
At least taking the action to change the flag is doing something.
It's not the racisim that's exhausting, it's not the taking action that's exhausting.
It's the ******* talking that's exhausting.
It's the trying to patiently listen to for the potential needle in the haystack of something productive, rather than listening to what we have all heard approximately 1,252,832 times this last week.
To be fair, it is also exhausting to hear over and over and over and over again how how ******* stupid people didn't wear a ******* mask or wash their ******* hands, and then, incredibly got sick and spread a disease to others.
I am ******* sick and tired of catering to the lowest common denominator. Like every morning it's a brand new discovery there is racism, or a virus.
Here's my story from the last few days....
Was at the public pool, and a woman and I flared up a conversation. We are about the same age.
She happened to be a member of a prominent African American family in this city, who are very politically active and influencial. When she, early in the conversation said her last name, I recognized it immediately.
The conversation started by her telling me that this particular pool had been built in the 1920's, and that originally it had been segregated. It's a city pool.
She was talking about how, in her childhood, the locals built and opened up a small canteen where people could buy snacks and such.
Then she talked about how the pool became desegregated in the 1960's.
I asked her if when it first opened to both blacks and whites, if there had been any bad feelings in the black community about how suddenly whites could come into a place that essentially "belonged" to the black community.
"oh no." she said, "we just all came here and got along"
Bullshit, I thought.
BTW, let me tell you. This pool is the nicest one I've ever been to in my city. For a lot of reasons. She said it had always been that nice.
Oh yeah whitey, you acted like you couldn't possibly be with the likes of us, but now segregation ends, and you discover we had a nicer place than any of your other places. Just come on in and take over.
On the same topic, she said that very recently it had been brought to the attention of the powers that be that all the other pools in town close at 8pm.
Except this one, which always closed at 7pm.
So in the last few years that was brought up and changed, so it closed at 8pm too.
I asked her "So what was the reason given as to why this pool (with mostly black patrons) closed earlier"
She brushed it off saying "it had always just been that way"
Uh huh. Sure.
But you know what? In my mind, some action was taken and it got fixed. Case closed.
She started talking politics, demonstrations, etc. The ususal.
I asked her, "At the end of the day, everything that is going on right now....give me an example of what is hoped to be accomplished?"
Now, I am so exquisitely aware of how I need to pick each word I said carefully, or it would all blow up in my face. I felt like I had a brake on my brain as I had to navigate in some fragile world to get a single simple idea out. I'm talking to myself saying "chai, don't do this. How can it end well?"
But you know what? I really didn't at that moment understand why I couldn't just say words to her that would have been clear, honest, curious and indicating I wanted to listen and learn.
Anyway her response was, after I had to rephrase twice, "To raise awareness"
Now the following is pretty much the order of the rest of the conversation, without adding or deleting.
Me: Ok. Let's assume that after all these demonstrations, awareness has been raised, in a significant amount of people. What do you want accomplished because of that? By the way, do you think today that everyone is not familiar with what is going on?
Her: I would tell people to write their representative, congressman (etc)
Me: About what?
Her: People need to attend community meetings, get involved
Me: To accomplish what?
Her: Some businesses need to not be patronized. If black people for instance didn't buy a car for 2 years at some particular place, that would get their attention.
Me: What was it that you wanted that business to do?
Her: (getting a little unsettled with me) You just don't understand.
Me: I'm trying to. I keep asking questions, and I haven't heard any answers. For instance, you said back in the day the people wanted a place to buy snacks. You built a canteen.
You found out this pool closed an hour earlier than other pools. You lodged a complaint that you wanted it closed at the same time. It happened.
You want specific things to happen as a result of demonstrations, protests, etc.
What are those things exactly? How are you supposed to get what you want if there are specifics?
Her: I'm tired of your questions (Seriously she said that. Then, realizing what she said, did her best to cover up)
Me: Why are you tired of someone who wants to understand and do something within their power to help, asking what, how, where? Isn't this your opportunity right now to let me know what I can start Doing?
I'm tired too. I'm tired of not being allowed to ask, and tired of seeing people stand around with signs showing how irate they are, but with no solutions being aired.
Actually, the conversation ended pleasantly.
However, I was very aware I had been dealt with in a passive aggressive way.
Yesterday, as I was leaving the pool, I ran into the same woman, who was just arriving. We chatted a bit.
At one point she said something about an everyday matter that I didn't quite understand. So I said "Sorry. I don't understand what that is"
She said "Oh, here we go with the questions again!" We weren't even talking politics. We were talking about dogs.
I asked "So what's wrong with asking questions?"
Her: Oh nothing, just kidding (ok Ms. Passive Aggressive)
Me: I've asked questions my entire life. I'm not going to stop now. I'm a bad ass.
I actually had a long text conversation with a bi-racial friend about that first conversation, asking what I wasn't seeing, where I was stupid or wrong.
It was a long conversation, but I'm going to quote verbatim one of the things she said, and this is not something taken out of context:
"It's gotten to the point that sometimes it feels like the only way anyone is going to feel like the race war is "won" is if white people are punished or made a less than race in society. She would never say that."
Another outright blasphemy I'm going to say is that for a lot of people, and I'm thinking of white people who are young, not all, but many, standing around in the 99 degree heat in the direct sun for hours waving a sign at cars that are sitting at an intersection is just another thing to do in the Summer of 2020.
Coachella isn't happening, the cool restaurants are closed, there's no major league sports. Let's go protest. It's a place to see and be seen.
Twenty years from now, "mom, where did you and dad meet"
At a BLM protest. His mask slipped, but I couldn't turn my head from him"
Bottom line, I'm glad they changed the Mississippi flag.
Let the cruxifiction begin.