YOU GULLYWART ! ! !

Did somebody say "Shrub"?

Whar's mah gun?

It's back at the OK corral, ain't it? Nestled in with the pitchforks and such? Ah think we need to dig that varmint out right soon...

Where's that scoundrel from the bigger city, LionTamer...

Iffen that Shrub ever shows his Yankee Doodle Dandy arse around here, I'll shoot him so fulla holes he won't know which one to lie outta.

Got me a pocketful of bullets right cheer!

Now, now, calm down, lil' heifer, you'll be lassooed by the sheriff. Theys better ways to skin a lemon.

Ladies--

Shrub is just a drugstore cowboy.

Why they oughta take the whole bunch of them lily-livered, bellycrawling lowlife sonsabritchs and poleax them backwards into last month's Sunday sermon.

Sermonize, simonize, wax over platitudinously, how can I put that into western movie words.

It's noon.

The sun is high up there and hot and our hero is wearing a long shirt and heavy vest and dragging around - was it one six gun or two?

Music pulses as he walks down the street.

Ok, I've failed, I still haven't gotten to the language...

There's a two-bit sidewinder name of Duke standing in the middle of Main Street waiting to bushwack the first greenhorn he sees, but stepping out of the noonday shadows is John Tonto.

"I sees yuh showed up,"snarls Duke, "you yellow-bellied, pigsucker."

John says nothing.

"I'm calling you out. Get ready to draw, you weasel breathed sorry sight for sore eyes sumbitch"

But, before Duke can take a beat of pleasure from his most recent profound insult, before the noonday sun moved an inch, before the Main Street clock's second hand had gathered energy to make a tick, there is a flash of movement by John Tonto's right hand, a flicker of something like light, and then the sound and smell of a gunshot.

"You Muh..." gasped Duke, as he flew backwards into the dust.

And that is how that town in Arizona found it's name.

Joe(stolen from an old joke and revised here)Nation

When you call me that, smile.

And what was the Virginian's real name?

I don't believe his name was ever given. Did you know that Owen Wister coined the expression "Smile when you call me that." in the novel The Virginian?

Me? Sure. I read that book something like seven times when I was a teen, for the sex scene. What sex scene?, you say. I told you I was a naive child...


(This was when we lived at my aunt's house when we moved to California. Not many books in that house, and all of those there were westerns read by her late husband.)

Why is it dangerous to call A2K members two-bit, drugstore cowboys?

You might be beaten to death with bags of quarters.

Sorry Osso...
I Been over at Miss Kitty's place gettin' me some.

Prolly sucking up the ham with red eye gravy, or whutevr ya call that soupy stuff, and somathuh peas with black eyes...




(you kin tell it's about lunchtime here..)

Ham?

Real men eat nothin' but beefsteak, just hacked off the cow and beans, beans, beans.

Don't ferget the biscuits...

Hey, if you lard buckets could get your snouts back away from the feedbag for a minute, you'd remember in that empty tin can you call a head that this is an insult thread, right? Yuh dopes.

Yer rite, smartypants, brains in yer britches..