1
   

Does she want to have a relationship with me?

 
 
Reply Sun 3 May, 2020 06:08 am
I have a couple of questions to ask, and yes, I know nobody can give me any definitive answers on an online forum...

Basically, and my first question is; is it just someone being "friendly" or is it "more"?

Basically, I goto the same pizza place regularly (I won't say which one it is, other than they have stores all over the country I live in, and worldwide), and one of the girls that work's there (I don't work there myself) always remembers me by name, and makes an effort to always say hello (by name) even if she's not the one serving me at the time (and doing something else entirely). Even at least a couple of times now while I was sitting inside the store itself (before COVID19 come along) she would walk right up to me and make a point of saying "hello <my name>", and in a way like she really wanted to see me (in a really warm and friendly voice). I tried to test her to see how she would react recently by looking straight into her eyes and smiling more than usual for at least a good 4-5 seconds (while looking into her eyes) when she was handing me my pizza. And she returned the look and smile, and didn't back away, or give me some weird look to signal she was uncomfortable with it.

Just last night I went there and she served me and asked what I'd been up to, being just as nice and friendly with me. I was going to give her my number last night and even had it ready, but a couple of her co-workers were out the front answering the phones and there were other customers around too. So because I didn't want to put her on the spot in front of others (particularly if her boss was around), I just ended up wishing her a good night, left the store and was kicking myself on the walk home.

As far as I can tell, and from what I've noticed, she doesn't seem to make the same effort as far as "friendliness" is concerned with other customers from what I've seen - which is what makes me wonder if it's just the fact she's a friendly girl, or she likes me. I'm at least 60% sure she *might* like me rather than her just being friendly, but I still really don't know if I'm reading the situation correctly or not.

So as I was saying above, my question is two-fold; Does that sound like someone just being "friendly" or does it sound more like she wants more than just a possible "friendship"?

The second part of my question is, and assuming I'm right in thinking that it sounds more like she likes me; if a girl really likes someone and puts in that sort of effort to try and get their attention; have I blown it by not asking her out yet? Roughly how long would it take before a girl does start thinking something like "he's not interested in me" ?

Just for the record: I am single, and I do like what I've seen so far, and would at least like to see if there is anything there, and if so, if she would be "compatible" with me and vice versa.

Thanks for any insights. Smile
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Sun 3 May, 2020 06:25 am
Don’t overthink this. If you think there’s a “ vibe”going on between you two, then act on it.

With the current situation, just how you would date is questionable. But that might be an opening statement in itself: “I’d like to ask you out, but where would we go ?”

justaguy2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 May, 2020 06:41 am
@PUNKEY,
Thanks PUNKEY, but that's the thing; I'm honestly not certain if it's just me, or there is in fact a "vibe" going on. As I don't honestly have a lot of experience with serious relationships, and I've asked a girl out before only to be told "I've got a boyfriend" - hence my question.

I could be wrong, but she also seems a bit shy from what I've noticed, and I'm probably a bit shy myself (particularly when it comes to this sort of thing).

I was thinking about just handing her a piece of paper with my number on it (that I've already written down), that way I'm not "putting her on the spot in front of everyone" as it were, but she can also decide if she wants to call me or not, and I don't have her number so she can feel more "in control" if you know what I mean.

But I do like your suggested pick up line though, so I'm debating in my head whether I should just say that instead. Plus that would be a good test to see if she backs off or not - perhaps that would give me a better idea about my question?

Thanks again.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 May, 2020 08:31 am
@justaguy2,
Sure, try the note thing.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 May, 2020 11:12 am
@justaguy2,
Hey guy,
I used to worship women too. It’s a hard thing to get over.
0 Replies
 
justaguy2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 May, 2020 08:27 am
Thanks again PUNKEY.

Well, I gave her my number tonight (without getting hers) after chickening out the last time I saw her before that, and... I honestly have no idea what to make of her reaction...

Basically, when my pizza was ready she handed it to me, and when she was about to walk off (not being able to think of what else to say), I said "can I give you this" (being the bit of paper with my name and number on it), she said something to the effect of "what's this?", looked at it, didn't seem to know what to say, smiled when she realized it was my number written on it, and walked off without really saying anything - I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I just grabbed my pizza and walked out without saying anything else myself. What to think about that? I have no f**king idea...

I'm actually kinda relieved about it in all honesty, in that; now to ball is in her court and if she calls/texts, she does, if not, then I guess I read the situation wrong from the start.

But in all honesty, it would probably be easier if I never hear from her, as at least my question is them answered and I can move on, and no longer even think about it. The only regret I have is if I made her feel uncomfortable, as she does seem like a nice girl. And to be honest, my main goal has been to see if I'm reading things correctly or not - it would be easier if she's not interested as that's what I already know. It's not as if I'm used to dating women - particularly good looking women - let alone the "complete package" (looks and personality to go with it). So in all honesty, she could probably do a lot better than me anyway. Hell, I haven't even got a job at the moment...

As for what might happen, and in all honesty, I'm even more confused about whether I was even reading the situation right or not to begin with - as her reaction (not that I have a world of experience in this kind of thing) seemed a bit cold for someone who is interested in me. In any case, and from my research, the only things I can conclude at this point is that, and for one; if she doesn't make any contact within a week at the most, then it likely means I was wrong about there being in "vibe" between us to begin with, for two; from what I can tell, at least some of the so-called "signs of interest from a girl in a guy" seem to have been there, but for some of them, it's impossible to tell since a counter a blocked at least half my view, and I have not interacted with her beyond her work, where I don't work myself - I've only really talked to her when she's been behind a counter, and in the few times there literally hasn't been anything between us, it's been too brief to be able to tell much if anything. So I'm reminded of the old saying "if it's meant to be, it will be", obviously that means it wasn't meant to be if nothing happens - I can live with that. So whatever.

@Leadfoot,

It's actually funny you say that for at least a couple of reasons... the first reason being that, while I respect women as people as much as anyone else, and don't buy into the BS argument that a man is somehow superior to a women; I wouldn't say "I worship them" - at least not in the way I think you're implying anyway. Also, and probably more to the point; I never expected this whole situation to even come about, and certainly never saw myself ever asking these kinds of questions on an online forum - ever. I honestly only ever expected to goto the pizza joint in question to buy pizza, go home and eat it, and that would be it. And even if there were nice and good looking girls that worked there, they would have boyfriends, and/or wouldn't be giving me a second look (as all but the girl in question do/don't - in not giving me a second look and just treating me like just another customer). I never expected the girl in question to treat me any differently to any other customer, let alone be honestly wondering if it's just me reading too much into things or whether there is actually something there or not.

I can even honestly tell you that I was NOT even thinking about dating anyone (female or otherwise), let alone planning to anytime soon. In fact, a part of the reason why it would be easier if she's not interested in me, is that; where I live there isn't much in the way of IT work, let alone programming jobs on offer, and that's the sort of work I'd like to do (even learnt C programming, and already have IT cert's, Linux experience, etc). So I'd like to leave not only the city I live in, but the state, if not the country altogether at some point (obviously that's not possible right now because of covid), but if I did hook up with her, and I was able to get out of this bloody place, but she didn't want to leave, then what would I do? So in not only that respect, but at least a couple of others, it would in fact be much easier and better if she wasn't interested.

So I honestly don't know what to do - regardless of whether she likes me or not, if you know what I mean...
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 15 May, 2020 09:20 am
@justaguy2,
Psst not to derail the topic, but I just saw your IT experience/training. Since so many companies are hiring remotely right now, that may be the way to go, or at least to try. You may be able to work in another country without leaving your home.

I work for a business credit company in Florida (I live in Massachusetts). Our design guy is in Bangladesh. The 2 people under me live in Tennessee and the Philippines. Sorry, we're not hiring IT right now, but I bet we are far from typical these days.

Best of luck to you in this and in romance. Smile
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 May, 2020 09:58 am
@justaguy2,
If you have to ask, maybe its time to cut bait and move on. Jespah makes good sense.
0 Replies
 
justaguy2
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 May, 2020 10:07 am
@jespah,
Hi jespah, thanks for your reply.

Since I'm not sure there is much more to say about the thread topic, and it's at least kinda related since I'm looking to move one day; then not sure we are really derailing the topic - either she makes contact or she doesn't, and either way, I'll have my answer.

But yeah, and at the risk of going off-topic, that's not a bad suggestion at all (never done any remote work though). I should also say that I live in Australia, and while the unemployment through covid isn't quite as bad here as it is in the US; the particular state I live in has never been good for people wanting to work in IT, and as for a Linux related job... well, I'd likely have a better chance at proving beyond any doubt that ET not only exists, but has visited this planet, than what I would at getting any Linux related job here (and likely programming work for that matter too - not that I'd say I'm an "expert" in programming yet by any means. And most of what I know about programming relates to C - but I am currently looking at learning C++, and hopefully Assembly, among other languages one day).

I should also say that when you don't have any recent work history in IT in particular here, this only compounds the problem of trying to get even just "entry level" IT work - let alone anything beyond that. So donno what I'm gonna be able to do about that.

In any case, I'd still like to move out of where I'm living one day, as it's just getting to the point of no return mentally speaking the longer I'm trapped here.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 15 May, 2020 10:40 am
@justaguy2,
Totally understandable. There's something about living in a place where people understand you and can relate to you.

Remote work isn't too too different from going to an office in the sense that you need to keep a schedule and get your stuff done on time, that sort of thing. Huge advantages are no commute and no dress code (even if you have to look dressed up, you don't need to be where they can't see - we call that the work mullet in my company). Oh, and no one steals your lunch. Very Happy

Most important stuff for working remotely:
  • A good, solid desk - don't use your table, as you'll have to clear everything off every day and that's a pain
  • A good, comfortable, supportive desk chair - your back will thank you
  • A decently fast internet connection - doesn't have to be the latest and greatest, but you do need to be able to get stuff out the door fast if you have to
  • Programs you need to work or at least access to them - for me, I own MS Office and in the US since it's a business expense, the cost is deductible. Access could mean remoting into a server or PC with a program like LogMeIn.
  • Discipline! Start and end work when you're supposed to, and take breaks like you would in an office
Hope this helps a bit. You can Google remote working for the programs you know, and see where that takes you. At the very least, it'll get you some bucks while you mark time until you can move, etc.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 May, 2020 12:11 pm
@justaguy2,
Quote:
So I honestly don't know what to do - regardless of whether she likes me or not, if you know what I mean...

I think so.

Glad you handed her the note; that was better than I managed with my first encounter with the 'fairer sex' fifty some years ago.

'Worship' may be too strong a word but maybe not. You seem to approach them with the same level of fear and trembling that I did. You obviously do not regard them as objects as some men do (kudos for that) but I can’t help but think that either you consider yourself beneath them or you are terrified of being alone in a world where the chances of meeting someone compatible are strictly up to chance and if you miss your one opportunity you could be alone forever.

From one IT guy to another, good luck. Hope she calls you. If so, remember you are her equal.
0 Replies
 
justaguy2
 
  3  
Reply Sat 16 May, 2020 08:23 am
@bobsal u1553115,

Yeah, starting to think that, really am. Wink

@jespah,

Hi again jespah, that makes sense and does sound appealing, I must admit.

It's funny, as I was planning on asking on a different forum a similar question regarding getting work overseas from where I currently live (not about remote work though, as I hadn't considered that until you bought it up). So it's almost like you read my mind somehow, if you know what I mean Wink

Most of the points you list should be easy enough to do. The only issues I can think of would be regarding the internet connection and the software side of things.

Basically as far as internet goes; in this country (Australia), well basically internet here compared to the most of the rest of the world is a joke. I donno if you are aware of the NBN here, but basically it was supposed to replace the copper cable phone network with fiber optic cables, but typical Australian government cheaped out and only done half the job - so basically unless you pay extra, the cable going to your house is still copper and not fiber. So I wouldn't be paying top dollar for it if it was the last thing I do, therefore depending on file size, and even paying top dollar, it could still be very slow compared to almost every other country.

As for the software side of things; I only have Linux installed on my current desktop PC, and have never had Windows installed on my current desktop (because I've never needed it. But have had it on other machines before and grew up with it). So therefore unless MS writes a Linux version of MS Office, then installing MS Office would be much easier said than done. Although LibreOffice that most Linux distros come with installed by default can read almost all, if not all MS Office documents, and you can also install MS fonts on Linux pretty easily though. And if I really needed Windows installed, I'd prefer that be on a separate drive rather than the same drive Linux is installed on. Also, I'm going to be building my next desktop PC very soon (already got most of the parts, just need to get some RAM and a power supply for the new motherboard I've bought), therefore there's no point installing anymore software, let alone operating systems on my current PC - so I'll wait until I've built my next desktop machine before installing anything. As the open-source nvidia display drivers don't seem to like my video card anymore, and their closed source driver won't build on the Linux kernel version I'm using. Plus it's time to retire my current machine anyway, as it's had a good run now Wink

But thanks again for your advice, it's much appreciated Smile

@Leadfoot,

Hi again Leadfoot. If there was a good way to put it, I'd say your last post has likely hit the nail smack bang on the head. And I can't think of a better way to put it, I really can't. I really can't understand how some men can treat women like nothing more than objects to screw, and/or abuse. I often think what a world we live in, you know, some men just don't even deserve to be with a girl full stop, let alone a nice one, and yet, those that would try and treat them right can have a hard enough time just trying to find a nice girl - what a world...

But no, haven't heard anything from her yet. I'm really starting to think that isn't going to change either, as I'm giving it about a 10%, and at most 15% chance I'll hear anything from her - so not good odds there. But at least I'll have a answer one way or the other, it'll just be interesting next time I goto the pizza place and she's working that day/night... maybe I should have just asked her if she wanted to see how a desktop PC is built? Maybe I'd have a better chance at getting a call/text from her :p

Thanks again Leadfoot, but I don't honestly feel equal to her though...

So what else to do? I'm buggered if I know, let alone do I understand women (not trying to have a dig at them either, but I honestly don't)...

Thanks again guys!
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 16 May, 2020 08:59 am
@justaguy2,
Google docs/sheets can probably work for you, too.

Oh and as for the mind reading thing, helfino. Very Happy
justaguy2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 May, 2020 07:25 am
@jespah,
Thanks again jespah.

It seems to be the way everything is going... web-based apps/"the cloud", doesn't it?

But like I was saying before, I'm looking at learning C++ since "normal" C isn't an object-oriented programming language like C++, before applying for any work. Since normal apps are usually written in OOP languages (not that I don't want to do more than just apps, so hopefully one day maybe some OS programming or similar as well).

I figure the more I know (particularly with the lack of recent work history on my resume), the more chance someone might give me a chance.

There's also a couple of other things I want to get more familiar with as well. As learning the syntax and concepts behind it is one thing, but there's also the "logic" side of it. Particularly when reading code someone else has written and actually understanding what's actually going on when it's run. As it's one thing to write the code, and you'd think if you can do that it would be easy to read someone else's, but well... you don't have the benefit of knowing what they were thinking when they wrote it. So you've gotta be able to follow it too, so that's certainly one thing I want to be able to get better at - particularly if there's problems with it. So yeah, it sounds a lot easier than what it really is, so I've been trying to do as much practice and reading as I can lately.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting to be paid $100,000 a year straight off the bat either - I'm happy to try and work my way up as it were. But employers at least where I live seem to think that without recent work history, you mustn't want to work, and therefore tend to overlook you. So that's the biggest problem for me, and incidentally one of the reasons why I want to get out of this place where I live. There are some other reasons too, like past abuse without going into the details. But yeah, don't know what's going to happen - let alone getting even just a girlfriend, let alone any more than that...

Thanks again jespah Smile
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Does she want to have a relationship with me?
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.06 seconds on 10/27/2020 at 08:59:03