Guys/Gals, I REALLY need some help/advice...

Well...

I went out last night with my friend. She had a couple of girlfriends with her as well which was cool because I wasn't looking for a formal date. Like I said, I didn't want it to feel or appear as though I was trying to exact some kind of childish revenge. I just wanted to go enjoy myself and have some old fashion fun!

We all hit the pool hall for a little bit, then hit a place called the tree house for some shots. After that we all went to a place called chrome and then ended up back at one of their houses skinny dipping in the pool until 4:30 in the morning. I have ta say, I surely didn't mind swimming with 3 good looking naked women I kept my distance though, and made sure that even in that scenario I didn't cross any boundaries. I'm not sure why it would have mattered if I DID cross any boundaries, but again, I'm not made like that. There hasn't been a final dissolvement of my current relationship, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm still committed to my GF (for now). I didn't plan the skinny dipping, but when they all three wanted to go, I couldn't think of one good reason not to!

I had fun, met some new people, and most importantly maintained my dignity and self respect... which a big issue for me!

emcandrew,

After reading all of your posts - I have a deep seeded feeling about you.

That being ............. you are a very genuine sweetheart, kinda guy. One whom a great deal of women would enjoy the company of.

Trust is the bond between two people that builds the foundation that will hold all of their tomorrows. You have lost that trust. To continue on with this relationship - now being laid upon a "weak" foundation ....will only bring heartache.

But I think you know that.

My advice to you........is to take your adorable "self" and go find a woman that would not sleep with another man for ANY reason. Because her pure love for you would not allow that. A woman that will not weave a web of lies to gain what she wants. No matter how desperately she wants it. A woman that respects you enough, to not do anything that she knows is going to tear you apart. Like she has already done. Where's the love, man.....where's the LOVE.

She's way too good at being manipulative.

Darlin'.........you deserve way better than that.

Thanks for the compliments Brooke.

I wish you the best with what you are working through. I was nearly in tears while reading your story... You are a very strong woman!

No need to thank me, sweetheart. It was actually very refreshing for me to read your posts. It just shows that there are some good guys left!

As for my "strength." I thank you. Although to be honest with you, my moving on with my life is not as much to do with strength -as it is to do with my strong will. Without the will to pick myself up and go on.......he would have won the destruction of me. And I'm too danged stubborn to let that happen. :wink:

Besides .... Adversities - however painful .....are the growing blocks of life.

smiles

Well,

It's Sunday night 6:30pm. I just finished working on my car. That was the one thing keeping my mind occupied making the pain somewhat tolerable the last two days. After I washed it, I was sitting in it listening to a song that we both enjoy (Lost In Hollywood - System Of A Down). That's when the tears started again. I feel so dead inside. I want so much for her to be here to share in this (because she was looking forward to me getting my hot rod fixed). It feels totally empty. No joy because my best friend isn't here with me. I refuse to call her because I know she doesn't want to hear from me, but I wish she would sneak away and call me or something. Her voice always brings me such comfort.

One of the things I think that is upsetting me the most is the knowledge that even if I did try to fix this with her, she's most likely not going to be staying in NC. She'll probably inevitably end up going back to NY to be with her husband and daughter. I wish she could just see that she legally, albeit a long and expensive road, could get her daughter back without having to do all of this... I hate this feeling like I'm dead inside....

The local ABC (liquor) store isn't even open for me to get some Jack and get myself so drunk that I pass out!

I'm sorry for being whiny, but I have no place else to express my heartbreak

What do you do when the only one that can make you stop crying, is the one who is making you cry?

Well, it's Monday, 9:41am my time,

We finally spoke via text messages. She's on her way back to NC. She wouldn't speak to our relationship at all. Only that we would talk when she got back. I asked if we were "done", which she replied "we'll talk when I get back... k?". LOL, I know what THAT means!

Can't wait to hear what she has to say!

Good luck, emcandrew.
Be strong. You really do deserve much better treatment than this.

emcandrew, I have to echo what others have recently said... it sounds like you can do better.

If you're willing to be honest and caring with your partner, you deserve a partner who will do the same for you. And there IS someone out there (many someones, in fact) who will treat you with the respect and honesty you deserve.

My mother told me once, "Just because someone loves you, doesn't mean it's a good thing to have them in your life." This woman does care about you, I'm sure, but is too involved with her previous situation to give you a Real relationship at this time in her life.

It's hard, and no doubt it hurts. But I see a Much Better future for you around the corner... a future with someone who will give you the love, respect, and honesty you deserve.

Best of luck & happiness to you!

Thanks guys, I know what you're saying to be true...

It's just a precarious position I'm in. I'm sure you know exactly where I'm at...

I just slipped by her parents house to thank them for being a part of my life. I know that once she arrives, I won't be able to go over there because of her daughter being up, so I figured I should do it before she arrives. Her mother is certain that her daughter will come back from this in a bag...

I feel bad for her. Her daughter is killing her inside and is doing nothing about it. We talked for about an hour and a half. She agrees, that getting her granddaughter is a very important thing... But it will take a while to do and should be done legally. She said that she thinks my GF is messing up the best thing she's ever had and wishes that she would come to her senses. We all know that's not about to happen though...

Anyway, I thanked her mother and told her that I wished my GF happiness no matter what, so that if this is what she (the GF) thinks she should do, then that was that. Her mother told me that once this is all over and done with, we might would get together and grill out or something... I'd like that, her parents are great people...

I'm finally ok with what I know is best and what I know now is the end. My problem all weekend has been that I was unjustly left in a state of limbo. My GF's lack of information this morning was enough for me to start my final closure and start looking at options to move on with my life without her.

Thank you everybody for your advice and support.... I'll let you know the final outcome when I can

Well...

She came back last night.... and we talked....

A good friend of mine told me that I would know in my heart what to do when she and I got face to face.... That friend was right.... We talked for a good long bit.... We're thinking we can fix this, and I'm going to give it a 150% shot.... I'm very hopeful that we can beat the odds on this one.... I do love her so much.... It was a once in a lifetime relationship, and can be again if everything goes as we discussed...

Thank you all for your help getting through this past weekend...