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Why on earth does he say or do these things, what is the reason?

 
 
Reply Thu 2 Apr, 2020 02:33 pm
Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or beautiful woman he acknowledges it and says how beautiful she is in front of me and trust me this is all the TIME!!!.

Not to mention that when we go out and there is a beautiful girl in a restaurant, movies, walking nearby,etcc I can tell he looks at this girl back and forth trying to be discreet but I can see he is looking, this happened yesterday we went to a popular outdoor mall where we live and little after we arrived this group of couples arrived and in front of us was a guy and his girlfriend ( part of that group, she was very pretty indeed) but first I was eating enjoying my meal, then I noticed my boyfriend was looking at her, so obviously I got the picture.
Then he began telling me how their body language was, so I just went ahead and said to him, that this girl was really pretty for the guy that she was with( it was the truth, nevertheless that’s their business right!!) so my boyfriend said the same thing, that she was way to pretty for her boyfriend. Then he stared a little more.
When we left, the group of girls had stand up to go to a fashion store in front of us, so when we were about to leave we were facing the store and there she was with the rest of the girls ( with their behinds facing us) I saw them and then my bf looked and then as we left walking away he looked again.


He did this to me in another restaurant, where he was the one facing a couple, well facing the girl especially , with huge fake boobs and commenting how she looked like an actress that had an amazing body but ugly face, then he said “oh the couple is leaving the boyfriend was a gentleman for putting his sweater on her”
Why do you guys thinks is the real reason this 48 year old man does this to me or comments these things in front of me ( 31 years old) is he insecure? Is he gaslighting me? He wants to make me jealous or doubt myself? To me all of this scream insecurity from his behalf trying to make me( which I happen to be very secure) to make me insecure, or even worse make me feel belittled, or as if I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM. Not cool for a man that supposedly” loves me and wants me very much”.


My good friend told me that he is acting very immature for his age and the fact that I talk to him about how good I look, that I love my curvy body and how much security I have in myself, may drive him nuts and he wants me to feel the other way around so he can have some control over me, she also told me these men turn women obviously if they are not strong enough into the most insecure woman ever.

Sometimes, he tells me how good I look,, before he used to do it more, now it has decreased I say it more to myself in front of him. I feel this gets to him for some reason ( when I praise myself) I do it because I know I am beautiful and look good.

She also told me to not mention this to him because it can make me look insecure to him, to just let it go, and act careless, since I am the beautiful young girlfriend, he should be the one complimenting me and not saying how beautiful/hot/ sexy women on Tv are. But she feels is because he knows that since I am younger he wants to CONTROL me By saying such things!!!

What is behind all of this? Why do you guys think he does this? And how should I let him know is dumb, and wont make me feel insecure cause I know I look very GOOD!
 
jespah
 
  7  
Reply Thu 2 Apr, 2020 02:58 pm
He says, "Oh, that woman is too pretty for the guy she's with."
You say, "Just like us!"
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Thu 2 Apr, 2020 03:11 pm
@Lizeth19,
Well at times he might had been slightly out of line but unless you wish to have only gay boyfriends we are all going to look.

I remember being on a cruise ship a decade ago or more that just happen to have the miss universe contestants on board and I damn need hurt my neck looking. My girlfriend and later my wife thought it was funny enough to tease me.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Thu 2 Apr, 2020 04:17 pm
@Lizeth19,
Lizeh
Didn’t you post thus same issue before? I remember because of your ages. I was shocked because he acts like he’s in his late teens.

So I will repeat:

He’s an immature oaf. He’s got a nasty habit and will not be able to break this habit until he realizes what he is doing - being disrespectful to his partner and also making a fool of himself.

Either laugh this off and stock up on a bunch of funny comebacks to his stupid remarks OR leave him because he just will never get it.
.
Lizeth19
 
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Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 08:18 am
@PUNKEY,
@PUNKEY Well I decided to talk to him, but my good friend told me 2 things :

1-) Never EVER say that any of the girls he is complementing is UGLY, Never!! She said that this will make me seem more insecure and jealous. And that’s a No No, she told me just go with the flow.

2-)Lets say if I put a tv show, movie, anything, if there happens to be a beautiful girl she told me to compliment her first, and see his reaction, if he stays quiet that may mean he doesn’t like that, because he can’t play mind games with me and has no where to start, plus he will see that im very secure of myself. So this might stop him from doing this. She said is called reverse psychology.
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Medusax
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 5 Apr, 2020 02:20 pm
@Lizeth19,
Been there, done that as well as the rest of the ignorant crap. MOST.....men are jerks of one order or another. This is just one of their little "games" that they like to play. I've had the same happen with mine, at one time or another, except my husband. I have had men openly and deliberately admire and flirt with other women when with me. Give him the boot. He's a POS.
izzythepush
 
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Reply Mon 6 Apr, 2020 04:35 am
@Medusax,
I feel sorry for your husband.
Medusax
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 6 Apr, 2020 11:00 am
@izzythepush,
You are ignorant. My husband and I were very happy. And he is deceased....thank you.
izzythepush
 
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Reply Mon 6 Apr, 2020 11:11 am
@Medusax,
Ignorant people are those who issue blanket condemnations of whole groups be it, race, gender, whatever.

In short you're bigoted.
Medusax
 
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Reply Mon 6 Apr, 2020 11:13 am
@izzythepush,
Whatever you say, All-knowing one..... Smile
izzythepush
 
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Reply Mon 6 Apr, 2020 11:22 am
@Medusax,
And you're not very good at sarcasm either.
Medusax
 
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Reply Mon 6 Apr, 2020 11:40 am
@izzythepush,
You da' MAN.........
0 Replies
 
 

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