Fri 27 Mar, 2020 09:04 am
I have been with my girlfriend for over two years. We have a great relationship; we live together, we have been on vacations together, we love being around each other, we tell each other everything, we have pets together, we don’t fight much, etc. We are even moving to another state together in a few months. It’s almost the perfect relationship. But, she doesn’t touch me, sexually or generally! If we touch (hold hands, hug, cuddle, etc.) then it’s because I initiate it. If I never touched her, we would never touch at all. I asked her about this, and she keeps insisting that “there is something wrong with her” because she doesn’t want to touch me and that she will try harder. This has been going on our entire relationship. I can count the number of times we’ve had sex on one hand. It makes me feel disgusting and unwanted, but she keeps insisted it has nothing to do with me and she does like me. I just don’t know if I can continue a relationship with someone who takes no effort to get physically closer to me. Any advice?
@Lesbehonest98,
Have you heard of the new craze ... that's sweeping the planet? Coronavirus?
Maybe your partner is a germaphobe? Maybe she's asexual. Don't ask strangers, especially ones who don't have the ability to read other minds. Ask her.
I suspect you're reading far too much into her lack of physical affection than there is behind the reality of your situation.
This has been going on all this time? (2 years)
Then, yes, something is wrong and you must insist on her finding out why her libido is so low or why she is not interested in a sexual relationship with you.
Dont make any long term plans until this is sorted out. Your relationship is missing a key component, no matter how well you get along.
@tsarstepan,
This was completely unnecessary and not helpful at all. If you actually read my post, you would see that this has been going on for the entirety of our relationship. It has nothing to do with germs. If you don’t have anything helpful to say, don’t say it.
@Lesbehonest98,
Maybe she has some bad memory on body touching in childhold or other time period and that make her do not want physical contact even intimate partner.
You can try to have a deep talk with her and learn more about her.
And help her untie the knot if that's ture.
@Lesbehonest98,
She might not be physically attracted to you. Sorry but sometimes it's that simple.
@Lesbehonest98,
My oldest son has Asperger's and he doesn't like anyone even hugging him. My GF noticed his behaviors and related things inside herself. She in fact is the opposite. She enjoys touching me but doesn't want me to touch her. Maybe your GF has the same issue. It might be something sensory in nature and nothing to do with you.
@Lesbehonest98,
I think the real question is
what do you want from the relationship?
It is very important to me to have great sex in a relationship. If my partner was unable to give this to me, that would be enough for me to end the relationship. I might be able to keep the friendship, but I would look for another lover.
I think you need to have a heart to heart with your partner. If she can't give you what you need, then it is time to rethink the relationship.
As the cliche go, "it is not her, it is you". You have been together for 2 years, and it isn't working for you. It is time to either figure out how to make things better, or to move on and look for a relationship to meets your needs.
@Lesbehonest98,
Hi, I can think of several reasons: She could be too shy to touch you first; she doesn't like sex, she likes women only, or she's has been having sex with someone else when you are not around. I'm married for a long time and won't touch my husband because he has changed and I don't like him anymore.
@redlady,
Maybe they've worked it out in the past seven months. Maybe they've parted company.
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