I have been married for 27 years.
I have no idea what my husband eats for lunch. He has no idea what's in my PMs. And vice versa. That is, unless we tell each other.
Neither of us are pushing to know any of that. Would I want to know if he was suicidal? God, yes. Would he want to know if I was planning on leaving him? I'm sure he'd like a heads up on that.
We both go into it under the assumption that neither thing is happening. We feel this way because we trust each other. We trust each other to be honest and also to be straightforward if there are any problems.
These little things - and they are little (I don't mean suicidal tendencies, I mean whether someone PMs me or him, etc.) - are barely on our radar.
We both have our own selves which we can and do keep to ourselves. It doesn't all have to be 100%, 24/7 togetherness and congruity.
We don't push it and pursue it. We have other things in our lives. Do I need to know if he slew a deer downtown and ate it with fava beans and a nice Chianti for lunch? Good lord, no.
Ain't nobody got time for that.