poor guys, poor girls. too bad we can't all communicate more easily, be honest with each other, and not get our feelings hurt...and all of this is why I never want to be single again!
and if we could all get past the silly hangups about who is "supposed" to ask whom out, it would simplify matters as well. When I went ahead and asked out a guy that I was friendly with, but who wasn't showing any signs of asking me out himself, it really made me sympathize with how tough it is for men that they've gotten saddled with that role by our society. It does take some nerve! (for us shy types anyway
) And it did seem to kind of take the guy aback to have a girl asking him out.
dora17 wrote:and if we could all get past the silly hangups about who is "supposed" to ask whom out, it would simplify matters as well.
I wish I could. I wish I could have the courage to speak my mind to the guy I'm interested in. But I can't - its my nature as a shy person. Sometimes I try to get them talking and be friendly, but then what happens is, I try too hard, or am afriad of trying too hard, that I become cold and almost rude to them, and they get the wrong msg and back off or become rude back (and I don't blame them) and any promising freindship flies out the window.
Darn, I wish I was more outgoing sometimes. It would get me to so many places.
Snowlock wrote:You certainly did not lead him on... us guys have a way of misunderstanding friendship with possible interest sometimes...
Don't worry about it, but you should consider apologizing for the rather rude comment.
Thank you very much for that - you have basically expressed what was on my mind.
I just haven't been able to see him lately. Or maybe he's made up his mind never to talk to me again....
Darn it, me and my big mouth.
pragmatic wrote:dora17 wrote:and if we could all get past the silly hangups about who is "supposed" to ask whom out, it would simplify matters as well.
I wish I could. I wish I could have the courage to speak my mind to the guy I'm interested in. But I can't - its my nature as a shy person. Sometimes I try to get them talking and be friendly, but then what happens is, I try too hard, or am afriad of trying too hard, that I become cold and almost rude to them, and they get the wrong msg and back off or become rude back (and I don't blame them) and any promising freindship flies out the window.
Darn, I wish I was more outgoing sometimes. It would get me to so many places.
I know the solution, guraranteed-- but I ain't sayin a word.
I'd get attacked from 1000 directions.
Blasphemy!
extra medium wrote:I know the solution, guraranteed-- but I ain't sayin a word.
I'd get attacked from 1000 directions.
Blasphemy!
But if you're serious, I would like to hear this "solution."
No I don't actually know all the answers.
I was just going to suggest that perhaps you go on a couple light dates with guys you kinda like but don't really like that much. Practice dates. You don't even have to be that attracted to these guys. You just practice your social skills with them, making them feel good, laugh, you gauge how hard you need to try, all that.
Then when you meet the guys you really do like, your skills at talking to them and making them feel interested in you will be better.
Its kind of like practicing for gymnastics or something.
Have fun & practice! Even with (nice) guys you may not want to date very long. Ever consider that?
Wooo, no can do. I am not one who is keen on dating at the moment. another guy who I have been freinds with for over 7 years asked me out to lunch (and yes, it was a date) and I turned him down as well, because I didn't like him and didn't know what to say.
But I think there is an underlying factor as to my refusal to go with anyone at the moment, probably:
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1359004#1359004
and this
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1359038#1359038
of course, feel free to call me paranoid after reading them.
ok, yeah, nevermind.
its probably better for you to keep on your exact same path.
Righteo - I saw him!!! Just after I finished the exam. and I have the biggest grin on my face now -I think we're all right again.
Walked out of the exam room with a big smile already becuase I just finished my last exam and the first person I saw when I walked onto the ramp outside the building was him - eye contact and I smiled at him, friendly, nothing awkward and he smiled back, similar nature. I think he must have realised how both of us did not want to offend or put the other in an uncomfortable position. Walked up to him - he was obviously expecting me to come up to his direction and chat and he said: hey, just finished an exam?
"last one!" I said
"Ohhh, you're lucky. I still have two more."
So I asked him what they were and then he had to leave. I said bye and at the last minute, he turned around and said, "See ya...hey, do my exams for me?"
"I'll consider it." I joked.
"No you won't." He was smiling broadly now.
"You're right, I wont'!" I laughed and we waved and went our opposite directions.
So its all ok now, hopefully. Thanks for all of you who gave me your perspective and feedback - highly appreciated.
yours,
a chirpingly happy pragmatic.
