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After 5 years, I’ve apologised to her.

 
 
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 06:39 am
This is an update to my last post on this forum.

My ex, who I dumped without explanation five years ago, had been open and responsive to me, albeit understandably very hurt. I was such a sack of **** to her.

If you would like some background information, feel free to read through my other post.

Anyway, I sent her this apology:

(Her name), I'm really sorry to have cut you off in such a way, without explanation, and not being fair and honest to you. I behaved like a coward and an egoist. My behavior towards you was appalling and insensitive. I always doubted your feelings, and at the time, I thought it was the best way for me. I am sorry for all the pain and the hurt that I inflicted on you during all these years of questions and distress. During all these years I thought only of you, the morning when I woke up, throughout the day, the evening you are in my thoughts, in my heart. I do not know what you think and feel. (Her name) whatever happens know that I only wish you happiness in your life.

It’s been a week and she hasn’t answer. I fully understand why she hasn’t - it’s likely that she’s completely done.

What I’m struggling with is that she’s been really frank with me since I’ve been in touch: telling me openly about her feelings and how she’s been.

I thought that maybe she would have something to say back... if it was to tell me to **** off or tell me to stop contacting her.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 629 • Replies: 15

 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 08:03 am
@Occitanie,
The maths doesn't work out. Your only other post is from November of last year when you talk about your current girlfriend.

There's no way to shoehorn 5 years into that.

Just going on this post, I'd leave the poor girl alone and let her move on with her life, she is under no obligation to get back in touch with you.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  2  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 11:00 am
@Occitanie,
My ex NPD GF used to write contradictory stuff like that to me.

So sorry, had to leave, think of you constantly, have a nice life.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2019 05:56 am
There’s no obligation from her after reading this apology.

She has heard you.

What did you expect? Your apology sounded insincere and reeks of an ulterior motive, like you were so sure she would come running back.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2019 01:59 pm
Why are you asking for a drubbing? Doesn't five years of silence tell you everything you need to know? She's over you and you need to be over her.
Sturgis
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2019 02:04 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
I agree with this.

(stick around for a while, bobsal you done been missed)
bobsal u1553115
 
  0  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2019 02:24 pm
@Sturgis,
I really PO'd someone. I think we've all cooled out over it. I've missed a lot of people here. You're one of them.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2019 06:20 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Quote:
Why are you asking for a drubbing? Doesn't five years of silence tell you everything you need to know? She's over you and you need to be over her.

Maybe he’s asking for absolution.
But he’s struggling way too hard to see himself as better than what he did.
I do that once in awhile too.
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2019 06:37 am
@Leadfoot,
Well maybe he should learn better manners. Perhaps she thinks he doesn't deserve absolution, and if that's the case, I'm inclined to agree.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2019 06:45 am
@Leadfoot,
She hasn't offered absolution and doesn't seem to need any more closure herself in five years, its time for him to move on. She's under no obligation to relieve him of his responsibility to come to his own peace. In fact there's a fair bit of passive aggression in his move to contact her if she's in another relationship. She does not want contact and he should respect that.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2019 07:18 am
I guess what I’m trying to say is, he’s not asking the right party for forgiveness.
And being insincere at the same time.
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Aug, 2019 09:05 am
@Leadfoot,
I think you're right. He needs to forgive himself, and if he's sincere, he wouldn't be adding more static to her life.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Aug, 2019 07:10 am
@Occitanie,
I’m a bit confused about your time frames here. Last year you talk about somebody that you were seeing last June. Now you’re talking about somebody you broke up with five years ago. What am I missing here?
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Aug, 2019 01:57 pm
@Ragman,
Not a thing. we're just ignoring it.
0 Replies
 
NSFW (view)
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Sep, 2019 11:54 am
@Eastcoast80,
ew.
0 Replies
 
 

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