Addictive or compulsive sexual behavior?

Reply Sat 10 Aug, 2019 07:38 pm
A few years ago, I was going through a phase where I was not very interested in commitment and more interested in just sleeping around. At one point in the spring I found myself entangled with two different women during the same time. It started with Lauren, who I met on OKCupid. We met for lunch and ended up having sex on that first date. The following weekend I went back to see her. She had been sending mixed signals; first sending me dirty text messages, then asking that we just get to know each other and not have sex this time. Nonetheless, I wanted sex and found it wasn't that hard to seduce her. We fucked twice and the second time we did not use a condom. I came inside her. I don't remember if she was on birth control or not and to my knowledge we did not have an STD discussion.

The next day I wasn't planning on doing much other than working on my grad school thesis. But at the end of the day I decided to go out for one beer. At one of the local bars I met a woman named Jen, who was sitting with this other guy. I still sat down next to her, though I didn't expect much. But then she started talking to me. After a while I asked her to come to another bar with me and so we went. It was there that I really started flirting with her heavily. She told me at one point that I made good eye contact. I told her the only problem with the bar was that the tables were too wide for me to lean across and kiss her. She blushed and I moved next to her and kissed her.

Long story short (though not that short, I know), we had sex back at her place. She scratched her nails down my back and it hurt but also turned me on even more. I spent the night there and at some point in the early morning hours we both woke up and fucked again. This time she rode my cock and though it was really hot sex I was unable to cum. I pretended I had and I think she believed me (she had gotten quite enraptured and maybe thought I'd gotten off at that point).

The next day I left, feeling really thrilled that I'd fucked two women in one weekend, both of them twice. I also liked it that Jen was much older than me (ten years) and had been through a divorce; there was something exciting about this scenario, I don't know why. I saw both her and Lauren again the next weekend. First I went out to a movie with Jen, came back to her place and she sat on my face while I ate her out. Then sex, then sleep. When we woke up the next morning I went down on her again. She got so wet that when I moved my fingers into her I could only feel liquid sloshing against them. Her legs spazzed over my head and she jerked back. What was my response to all this? To want to **** her without a condom. Which is what I said after coming up for air and kissing her. That made her very uncomfortable. So I used a condom after all. While I fucked her I told her to look into me eyes and she kept telling me to **** her harder.

We had breakfast and I left, knowing that I was going to be seeing Lauren later on. Some hours passed before I made it up to her place. When I tried kissing her, she turned her head away and said, nope, just hanging out today. So we had a picnic. When we came home I was pretty persistent with her, my hand on her leg, close to her on the couch, etc...and she said, "okay you can touch my vagina if you want." So that led to me eating her out, possible swallowing a yeast infection, and us having sex.We did use a condom this time. When I left she sent me a text thanking me for the wonderful evening and telling me safe travels.

I didn't care about Lauren and planned on dumping her. But I wanted to keep seeing Jen. Unfortunately, though, she dumped me. Told me that she wasn't ready to start seeing somebody again. I was mad about it and became obsessed with seducing at other women as soon as I could.

I am now engaged and faithful to my fiance, whom I love very much. But I can't stop thinking about these two women (obviously). Was my behavior promiscuous and borderline addictive, or just a little promiscuous? This is one thing I wonder. The other is, how problematic was my treatment of Lauren?

Any answers or other questions are appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Reply Sat 10 Aug, 2019 07:39 pm
By the way, since I realize I never clarified: I'm fine, no STDs and if there was a pregnancy scare I'm fairly confident Lauren would have contacted me, and anyway we did actually talk briefly some time after.
Reply Sat 10 Aug, 2019 07:54 pm
Pregnancy scare... That's a rather blase attitude for something that lasts the rest of your life. You sound young, unable to comprehend unprotected sex leads to diapers, 526 College savings plans, house payments, mini vans and soccer practice.

So, now you are engaged, thinking about the woulda, coulda, shoulda **** with someone you are not even sure is possibly a mother to your child.

Are you sure you're ready for marriage? Doesn't sound like it to me.
0 Replies
Reply Sun 11 Aug, 2019 07:37 am
“A few years ago”

“Now I am engaged”

Hopefully, these are just memories from the past of some self-centered, risky behavior.

Unless these thoughts become obsessive, you seem to be ready to settle down with one woman.

Or are you?
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Reply Sun 11 Aug, 2019 01:15 pm
Since you posted some 2 years back about your "addiction to writing porn stories --- www.able2know.org/topic/369441-1 --- I'm inclined to take this over-the-top rambling as merely your attempt to impress some publisher somewhere.
Reply Tue 13 Aug, 2019 05:29 am
That was my first thought as I read this Sturgis.
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Reply Tue 13 Aug, 2019 11:04 am
Sturgis, it's cool, you can go ahead and not believe the veracity of this post if you choose. I can't stop you. I won't deny that I wrote it with certain flourishes, in hopes that some readers are at least entertained; I can't help myself. I will pose a question, though: why would you think being addicted to writing porn stories and having this particular experience are mutually exclusive?
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