Reply
Tue 30 Jul, 2019 02:26 pm
Sometimes I feel like I’m just some nerd. I have a sporty family. My older brother, who plays every sport there is, my dad, who played sports in high school and college, and my mom, who likes watching sports with my dad and brother. In all honesty, I feel like they kind of shame me for my own interests in Dungeons and Dragons and anime and League of Legends.
Here’s some real life examples, whenever I’m shopping with my mom and brother, and I find a store that has My Hero Academia merch or clothes with video game puns on them or interesting Japanese art supplies, they outnumber me with their demands to leave, and I am promptly dragged along to a Dicks sporting goods or foot locker. Even when I bring all my cat sitting money to buy the things I went there for. (Those are the only names of those stores I’ve bothered to remember.) And then we spend a good forty five minutes there shopping for my brothers interests.
I get it, anime and Kpop and D&D isn’t for everyone. But I feel like I’m being shamed for liking those things.
I know my family doesn’t mean to make me feel like this, but every time I talk to my mom and brother about how I feel about this topic, they immediately get defensive and change the subject.
I just want to be able to do the things I enjoy without feeling like it’s stupid.
Sorry I let this go on kinda long, but does anyone have any advice?
@LovelyandTrying,
Eventually you'll be an adult and able to manage all your buying decisions. Sure, you may get some teasing, but as long as you're true to yourself and nobody is getting hurt, you get to keep smiling.
@Sturgis,
I think there might be some value in getting your mom to take you out on your own shopping instead of going with your siblings. That would allow the two of you to focus on your interests instead of having a two on one situation.
@LovelyandTrying,
Cat sitting? Is there much demand for that?
A sixteen year old American boy just won 3 millions playing fortnite!!!!!!
@LovelyandTrying,
Just remember -- the nerds are typically the ones who become rich! Unless you are they very elite of elite as an athlete you earn zippo for being athletic.
But nerds end up being the ones that become the higher earners. Just bask in the glory of knowing that you will be earning significantly more than your siblings.
On the immediate side - just understand that everyone has different interests and strengths - and not one is better than the other just different.
Try talking with your parents maybe before you go shopping - are you old enough that you could shop in the store by yourself and then meet them afterwards? Could you bring a friend that has the same interests - maybe your parents would feel comfortable leaving you in the store when you are with a friend?
And just realize that you are not stupid because you like different things than the rest of your family - I am sure they don't think you are stupid perhaps they don't understand your interests but highly doubt they think you are stupid.
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:
Cat sitting? Is there much demand for that?
Oh yeah. When people go on vacation who's going to scoop the litter and feed and water them? Just as much demand for dog sitting I would guess.
To the OP,
Like has been said, someday sooner than you think you'll be out on your own. Be true to your interests.
I think people who make fun of someone's hobbies are either insecure themselves, or just mean spirited.
Me? I couldn't stand to spend the day with sports fanatics. I appreciate they are into it, so they should appreciate I'm into other things.
Heh, I can relate.
My folks can't relate to me podcasting (stopped a few years ago, no more time these days) or being into Trek, or writing. Through my nerdity, I've met some semi-famous-ish people. But that's not why I do it. I do it because those people are my pals.
Used to be, the only people who were into computers were us nerdy types. That's changed -- but there was a while there where the 'net was more or less just Nerd Central. It still can be; you just have to know where to go.
Your life is for you to live. Not them. And vice versa, of course.
Like what you like. Love what you love.
Know what my nerdity's gotten me, too?
I started off writing fan fiction. Now I write wholly original stuff, and I'm published. From that, I got a job I really love. My husband (he's also on A2K) is also kinda nerdish, although he's into sports, thereby proving the two are not mutually exclusive.
We are who we are. I've tried to be something I'm not. Don't do that. That way lies madness.
You're great just the way you are.
Thanks you! Both for replying and for what you all said. I’ll take your advice.
@chai2,
I guess I wasn't thinking because I've taken care of my neighbors cat when they were away. I really hate scooping out the poop, but I would feed the cat 'Dottie', and she was suffering with kidney disease so I would also hook up the saline solution and give her daily infusions......I had to bring mr. g'bag to hold the cat (because she really hated it) and we both have the scars to prove it.
@LovelyandTrying,
Yes, I was the "oddball" in my family as well. I had very different interest than my parents and sister and I was often made to feel the same way. They even tried to turn me into my sister for awhile. Didn't work. They were proud when I joined the service but I didn't do it for them. Family stuff. It is why mine are up North and I am down South. You just be you. If that is what you are into, then to hell with everyone else.
Sometimes you just can't win. I was and am kinda nerdy. Very bookish interests (back when books were in). I also liked sports. However, the team I liked was hated by every man in the family who knew anything about sports. I was insulted and belittled. Didn't much care. I like who I like--and what I like.
You've been given some good advice here. And there have been some observations that I hope you will find helpful.
I was a guest speaker at a seminar--older people talking to younger people about life experiences. The leader of the seminar asked me what advice I would give to young people. I said what's been said here several times: Be true to yourself.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace