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Young People: What is With the Attitude?

 
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 May, 2005 06:52 am
Re: Young People: What is With the Attitude?
val wrote:
bella dea

Quote:
Is it just me or do the young people today have a really bad attitude problem?


They don't have a bad attitude problem. They fight the attitude of their parents, teachers.


The normal teenage angst is not what i am refering to. It's the blatent disrespect I am refering to. And I do think that things are worse than they used to be. Meaning, as I stated before, a teenager moving from petty crimes like toilet papering a disliked classmates house to beating the **** out of them.
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 May, 2005 07:26 am
I was transporting 3 kids of my pals at the weekend and one of them, a girl who is 9 ( going on 16) and in a right mood was playing up.
I wanted them to be safe so I aked them all to put there seatbelts on in the back seats, because the 9 year old was playing up I double checked with her that she had clicked the seatbelt in and I asked her sister next to her if she could check.
The 9 year old shouts out at me 'You dont have to check you know, Im not a baby'
I replied,'Dont talk to me like that and you are a baby!!'

They werent my kids, I wanted to make sure they were safe especially as I thought the 9 year old would rebel and only pretend to put her seatbelt on.Id feel awful if anything happened to them.
The other two were lovely(age 5 and 7)They both came out with things like, 'you have to put your seatbelt on, you have to be safe.You could have an accident and fly through the window onto the road'
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eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 May, 2005 07:32 am
Good for you! If no one puts them in check, like you did, it just goes from bad to worse. As stated earlier, kids do the things they do because we allow them to.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 May, 2005 07:52 am
I know that violence toward children is unfashionable, and considered barbaric and abusive, but . . .

Had i shouted such as you describe that nine-year-old having done, i'd have gotten the back of someone's hand for it, and likely right across the mouth. Had my grandfather been driving, he'd have stopped the car to do it. Of course, by the time i was nine, i'd also have known better.

A little measured violence, fairly applied, dispassionately and consistently when the children are old enough not to be damaged, and young enough to learn, can have a salutary effect.

(No criticism of you MG, i know they aren't your children.)
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 May, 2005 08:56 am
Im all for a slap on the back of he hand if verbal reasoning doesnt work.If she was mine Id have smacked her earlier on.

I was trying to entertain her earlier in the day as she was complaining that the 2 other girls wernt playing with her(I wasnt surprised as she was being a moody madam), THEN she told me she hated the girl that wasnt her sister!!(Ive known this other girl, the 7 year old,since she was born,obviously i absolutely adore her, yes she can be a handful at times but is in NO WAY as rude as the nine year old)She was talking like a teenager would do!!A real Vicky Pollard!!It was horrid to hear, I cant beleive someone of that age would come out with things like that.

I asked her what her favourite music was(i tried to start a mini singalong like an embarrasing 'auntie')she just looked at me, then I said why not read something which didnt go down well.
At one point she decided to let herself out of the enclosed garden to play in the car park on her scooter.I, as politely as a I could, said 'Could you play on your scooter in here, the car park is for cars'.She went out anyway, her dad had to get her back in.
The only way I managed to entertain her was to let her mow me down while she was n her scooter!!

At one point she decided to join in with the other 2 girls and take over the games they were playing and become all dictating.Hats off to the 7 year old as she spouted out 'We dont have to do what you say!!'.

I can understand there was maybe an age gap which didnt help but she wasnt helping herself so how on earth did I think I could help her.
I gave up in the end and told her that she was moody and that no one would like her at all one day.

Horrid thing to admit but with all her sarcastic looks and comments I actually felt intimudated,by a 9 year old!!!!!girl!!!!!
0 Replies
 
fanfan1313
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jun, 2005 11:05 pm
I'm 14 years old, and even I agree with some of you!

Yes, I do get mad at my parents and have a computer in my room, but I try to respect them and I read more than I watch TV. On my computer I don't go to pointless websites, I usually try to teach myself to program the thing.

Whenever I want something that is not a book or school related item, I have to earn it!

However my parents are not saints and do insult homeless people and other teenagers, but I have a mind of my own. Being somewhat of a loner I try not to follow the crowd, but to do what I feel is right.

I believe that my parents do have a very shortsighted and biased mood but I don't scream it at their faces. If it is expected that I open the door for someone, than I do so. I can understand why some people may not do this, they can open the door for themselves, but if someone is struggling with something heavy than it is just mean not to help them in my mind. I have seen as many adults as teens ignore this. It's one thing if someone can open a door themself, but if they are forced to kick the door open...

But neither am I a parent's dream. I get angry when I am forced to dress up, but not just to resist my parents. I resent having to wear something that other people classify as nice because it is not what I casually wear. In other words humans made up what a "nice" shrit is, it's like a rule. Humans gave it it's meaning and they could just as easilly take it away!

Please keep in mind that if a kid is not allowed to argue, to have a say, then you might as well pronounce him an animal, for that is the difference between humans and animals. Humans can think for themselves.

Why am I like this?
Partly my parents- I must work to get what I want
I don't watch a lot of TV- Not influenced by what is cool
I am a human- I can think, I have views, the secret is to let other people have theirs and not to dismiss them because they are not yours.

To better understand the last part I would read Farenheit 541;) Shocked
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 02:24 am
Fanfan1313-I dont mean to pigeon hole all kids.Clearly there are alot of decent ones.
I was watching a kid on tv at the weekend and he was very upset.It jerked me into remembering that kids are people with valid emotions and there is no reason why they shouldnt express them like adults do.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 06:59 am
Kids SHOULD express themselves like adults but most don't. Kicking, screaming, crying, yelling, throwing yourself around, making threats and being verbally abusive is not the way adults exprss themselves. At least the ones who know how to act. :wink:
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eoe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 07:12 am
But a kid is not an adult. Not yet. Is it fair to expect kids to act like adults? Some kids have fits because they don't know any other way to express themselves and others because it gets them whatever they want. Bottom line, their parents are to blame.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 07:15 am
eoe wrote:
But a kid is not an adult. Not yet. Is it fair to expect kids to act like adults? Some kids have fits because they don't know any other way to express themselves and others because it gets them whatever they want. Bottom line, their parents are to blame.


Well yeah, you are absolutly right. It's up to the parents to explain that throwing yourself on the floor and screaming at the top of your lungs isn't going to get you anything but a headache. Parents who react to this behavior encourage it and I think kids who are encouraged to act like this as children become whiny self serving adults.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 07:16 am
I guess I am referring to teenagers rather than small children.
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 08:11 am
Bella Dea wrote:
Kids SHOULD express themselves like adults but most don't. Kicking, screaming, crying, yelling, throwing yourself around, making threats and being verbally abusive is not the way adults exprss themselves. At least the ones who know how to act. :wink:


HA!
Some adults do insult, scream, throw things and act like 7 year olds when they get pissed. hehehe..

but. My point is that kids LEARN to do these things to express themselves because.... How many times have you seen people respond to children with the words " dont be a smart ass.. Who do you think you are?"
Alot of times, when kids try to respond adult-like, they get told off, ignored or laughed at.
Thier words may not be the best choice, but the point of thier attempts are missed and confused with being smart assed or insulting. All they are trying to do is respond like an adult, and that takes practice.
So, since that is the reaction they get, they KNOW that if they kick scream, insult, and get down right angry, thier parents will then say and respond like they want. They will be able to say what is on thier minds and ask for what they want.
Again.. like EOE said.. blame the parents.
I have even caught myself doing JUST that with my child.
i will ask her a question, and even though she isnt able to speak yet, she will give me a serious look, and respond in a quiet voice ..mimicing the way I addressed her.. and what do i do? Laugh.. Confused
It is a common thing for people to do that to kids . I think it is because it TRULY is amusing to see them learning to be adults. BUT- it is damaging to show that amusement when they are trying to communicate. That behavior has been laughed at and dismissed for so many kids.. that tantrums are a learned thing..
Bounce forward to the teenager now who has had that laughter as a responce and has grown out of physical tantrums.
NOW thier responces are " who do you think you are?" " Dont talk to me like that" " Well , dont you think you know everything..." etc..etc..
Yet again, when they try to communicate on a larger level, they are insulted. So, they insult back, as they learned from a young age.
Not all teens are like this, but to me when I see teens like this, that is what I think happened and where I believe alot of this behavior has come from.
Innocent parent laughter.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 08:35 am
Monkey see, monkey do is true. Kids will act like they see their parents act. I hate the "Do as I say, not as I do" mentality.
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Sanctuary
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 02:56 pm
As a teen myself, I can do nothing but agree. I am put off by the majority of people my age. I can't stand the whining, the thanklessness. This is why I surround myself with people who are, for the most part, older, more mature, and much more settled than teenagers.

I am discontent with my home-life as well as many of my friends, but there are certain methods of handling it that are more mature than others. I don't rebel and act-out like most, I am able to articulate my emotions and I work to change the situation. It seems that the solution for most of my peers is to hate their parents and slit their wrists. Because, obviously, that's the quickest way to change situations. I don't understand most teenagers, I don't understand the hatred and the need to experiment with knowingly dangerous things. I don't understand the attitudes and the disrespect for adults (then again, I'd rather be in the company of an adult than a teen on any given day, while most teens would do the opposite). I don't understand the disregard of information and education. I don't understand the age discriminations and the arrogance. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. I just do my best to steer clear of anyone under the age of 18, unless they catch me off-guard with something intelligent to say otherwise.
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eoe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2005 03:23 pm
Do your parents appreciate having a teenager like you? Gosh I hope so.
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Jun, 2005 07:14 am
Sanctuary wrote:
It seems that the solution for most of my peers is to hate their parents and slit their wrists. Because, obviously, that's the quickest way to change situations. .



That is a great statement! And so very true.
When people ( teenagers included) decide they dont like something, it is much easier to ""Drama-Up"" the situation by creating chaos. It changes the focus, usually gives the person some attention and gives them the ability to ignore other discomforts and dislikes to fuel a new one . Immediate gratification is the reward.

Again :
BellaDea wrote:

Monkey see, monkey do is true. Kids will act like they see their parents act..



Severe drama created by one person in a family circle is learned from somewhere sadly enough.

So , how much of what we see today in the common place teenager is unique behavior? I bet if we spent a week in thier homes, our focus would shift, from angry teen to stupid parents.. ???
Maybe?


Funny Sanct, i would have NEVER guessed from your posts that you were a teenager.. I truly thought you were about my age!
You sound like a pretty amazing person! Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Jun, 2005 07:15 am
shewolfnm wrote:

So , how much of what we see today in the common place teenager is unique behavior? I bet if we spent a week in thier homes, our focus would shift, from angry teen to stupid parents.. ???
Maybe?


Probably. I wouldn't doubt it.
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eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Jun, 2005 09:42 am
I'd bet money on it!
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fanfan1313
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Jun, 2005 09:34 pm
Sanctuary-
I know how you feel. Now that I think about the only friends I have are the ones that are able to see past today or this week and realize that there are better ways to handle things. When my school had an awards ceremony it is remarkable that the few people I know, no more and no less, got the Straight A's for the year award. I love knowledge. I want to go to a good college. My peers simply want to skip High School. They think that either they will get on a professional sports team, or will be a med. Doctor off their smile. You are completely right, teenagers can be amazingly stupid.

Material Girl-
Thank you for acknowledging the fact that kids can have valid emotions.

Bella Dia and eoe-
I believe kids should try to behave, if not adult like, at least respectfully.

Whoever said "Monkey see, monkey do" and that the saying "Do as I say, not as I do is a most annoying saying, and that is a bad example was right. This is the attitude many teens follow, a hypocritical one. No wonder so many kids' promise is so unreliable.
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Sanctuary
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Jun, 2005 09:58 pm
Well Fan & SheWolf, that's why we gather here, no? To be able to further our knowledge and accept one another even in our differences, as human beings searching for something beyond the modern-day remedy. (thanks Very Happy )
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