Bella Dea wrote:
Kids SHOULD express themselves like adults but most don't. Kicking, screaming, crying, yelling, throwing yourself around, making threats and being verbally abusive is not the way adults exprss themselves. At least the ones who know how to act. :wink:
Some adults do insult, scream, throw things and act like 7 year olds when they get pissed. hehehe..
but. My point is that kids LEARN to do these things to express themselves because.... How many times have you seen people respond to children with the words " dont be a smart ass.. Who do you think you are?"
Alot of times, when kids try to respond adult-like, they get told off, ignored or laughed at.
Thier words may not be the best choice, but the point of thier attempts are missed and confused with being smart assed or insulting. All they are trying to do is respond like an adult, and that takes practice.
So, since that is the reaction they get, they KNOW that if they kick scream, insult, and get down right angry, thier parents will then say and respond like they want. They will be able to say what is on thier minds and ask for what they want.
Again.. like EOE said.. blame the parents.
I have even caught myself doing JUST that with my child.
i will ask her a question, and even though she isnt able to speak yet, she will give me a serious look, and respond in a quiet voice ..mimicing the way I addressed her.. and what do i do? Laugh..
It is a common thing for people to do that to kids . I think it is because it TRULY is amusing to see them learning to be adults. BUT- it is damaging to show that amusement when they are trying to communicate. That behavior has been laughed at and dismissed for so many kids.. that tantrums are a learned thing..
Bounce forward to the teenager now who has had that laughter as a responce and has grown out of physical tantrums.
NOW thier responces are " who do you think you are?" " Dont talk to me like that" " Well , dont you think you know everything..." etc..etc..
Yet again, when they try to communicate on a larger level, they are insulted. So, they insult back, as they learned from a young age.
Not all teens are like this, but to me when I see teens like this, that is what I think happened and where I believe alot of this behavior has come from.
Innocent parent laughter.