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Message from ex

 
 
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 01:09 pm
I haven't spoken to my ex for almost 2 years. A few weeks ago he emailed me and apologized for the way he treated me. After sitting on it for a few days, I replied and said thank you. I didn't ask him any questions just left it at that. A couple days ago, he sent me another message asking me where I am (he knew I moved to another country). I replied with the answer and nothing more. Well he just replied and said "why you replying me?".

Ummm, okay what is this for? I feel like he wrote me this because he's looking for validation of some sort, his self esteem wants me to say because I still care or I don't know.......that's why I'm writing you all. To be honest, I read this message and my first thought was 'still playing games'. Instead of writing "because you asked me a question" I wanted to get your input to see if I'm over-analyzing.

One of you might ask how I feel and I'm not sure but I'm glad he wrote because his message makes me realize I still need to do more work on myself, to learn to love me. Because my first thought was not of him caring about me but more of what does he need from me (like what's his purpose, money or what).
 
View best answer, chosen by Christyblue
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 01:21 pm
@Christyblue,
My answer wouldn't be "because you asked me a question" but, "because you ******* asked me a question."

Then, I would block.

In reality though, I would probably just block/ignore after this.

Just like I responded here, and that's it.


engineer
  Selected Answer
 
  5  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 01:32 pm
@Christyblue,
He tried to strike up a conversation, you answered briefly and shut him down. He tried again, you again answered briefly and shut him down. He's not taking a hint. In his view, an answer is a positive and no answer is a negative, but you found a middle ground, a negative answer. He doesn't know what to do with that. Just don't answer this one. There is no reason to keep this email thread going.
Christyblue
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 02:14 pm
@engineer,
And this is why I wrote this. I honestly never thought of it this way. For me, I saw his apology as just that, an apology and not a means to strike up a conversation because in his apology he never asked me a question. He never asked me how I was doing or if I forgive him. Wow, thank you.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 02:45 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

My answer wouldn't be "because you asked me a question" but, "because you ******* asked me a question."

Then, I would block.

In reality though, I would probably just block/ignore after this.

Just like I responded here, and that's it.



Agreed - I would think "because you ******* asked me a question."

But instead of giving him the satisfaction of an answer because it appears he is trying to get a reaction out of you - I would just block him and not respond to him again.

Funny when you read the thread there is "*****" with the bad word but when you hit quote it actually gives you the bad word.

I think he just wanted to you to still pine over him
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 03:13 pm
@Linkat,
Oh yeah, that's why I said that in reality, I would just ignore from that moment on.

Funny story linkat...

I've mentioned before I had a brief, less than 2 years, first marriage.

A few years after I remarried, I got a letter from my first husband. Some crap about some memories he had of us, waxing all sentimental, etc. Then this half assed apology about "his part" in the marrage ending (his part being moving me all around the country, isolating me, spending all his money, and mine, which was a lot more than he had, putting us in debt, trying to get me pregnant when there was no question I didn't want to be, and so much more....yeah, I have no idea what I was thinking marrying this guy)...I just read it to my husband, we both had a good laugh, and it went into the trash.

But wait! there's more....a few more years after that, I was served with papers, something about a foreclosure on the house he kept in the divorce settlement. Even though it was all legally documented that wasn't my property, the bank was trying to come after me because he had apparantly been renting the house out while he lived somewhere else, but hadn't been paying the mortgage. Also, he was now declaring bankruptcy. I eventually got that all straightened out, but I'll never forget this phone call we had over that. I forget how, but somehow I got his contact info. When I called him, I asked him what it was I was supposed to do about the fact he put himself in this situation. His answer, priceless. He said "Well I guess you'll have to go bankrupt too." Like that was just the logical next step.

He was honestly surprised when I said something to the effect of "Are you kidding? Do you realize that I remarried X number of years ago? How are you thinking this has anything to do with me?"

I believe he thought that after I divorced him, my life just came to a standstill, and I was in like embedded in one of those plexiglass cubes.

That's what this guy the OP is talking about sounds like. What is it? 2 years? go by and life hasn't moved on?

Just block the nitwit.

HabibUrrehman
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2019 03:59 pm
@engineer,
That's a good advice.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Jun, 2019 06:51 am
@chai2,
Complete narcissism is fugly, isn’t it?
0 Replies
 
Jewels Vern
 
  0  
Reply Wed 26 Jun, 2019 12:35 pm
@Christyblue,
A broken relationship stays broken forever. You are only asking to get hurt again if you try to restart it. Ignore his messages.
0 Replies
 
 

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