25 and vanilla as ****.

I've recently turned 25 and I would say I'm starting to get my head together. I'm in the middle of buying a house, and have been researching property investment heavily. I have a stable job earning an above average wage. I dont have a financed car, its second hand so I can save money, I have no tattoos or any facial hair as work doesn't like that.

I'm moving department at work and we always have leaving dues for people who've been here for a few years. I asked a mate if hes writing the leaving speech and these are normally filled with stories about your time and the crazy or stupid things you've got upto in or out of work.

One problem, the guy has nothing, and the only jokes or stories he has are about how vanilla I am...

And it struck me. I'm boring as ****. I've had 1 girlfriend and that was when I was 23 and she was 30, the only time in my life I remember being even looked at by women. I've had a fast car but that almost seems the pinnacle of my life. Ive few freinds and not a lot, if any sex appeal. It's been 7 months since I had sex and I cant get anywhere on tinder. I buy clothes that I think are right but I feel as if I'm a 55 year old man in a 25 year old body trying to be cool, and it feels tragic some times. People have even asked me on nights out, "are you a cop or do you work for the council, I mean you look like a lawyer" some beautiful girl will come talk to my friend and wont take a second glance at me. Women never look at me on a night out and I'm casual at conversation still I never get anything not a spark or a flirt. I've not got 3 noses and a mountain of spots. I'm not lecherous and try to model myself to be a good person and a gent that's not to say I dont flirt but It never really goes that far. I basically brought myself up, and had no guidance on how a man should be. I've made it up and learned as I've gone along, grown with new ideas and thanks to some freinds I have changed my perspectives and outlook on people and life. I could have been described as a UKIP voter at 17 but now I'm liberal and will defend my gay friend to the high hills of which I've had to do.

Wtf do I do, I feel like I wasted my teens and most of my 20's.

I've never had a tattoo because I couldn't decide on one and once again work looked down on it.
I don't hang out with the LADS LADS LADS group, because I cant be in the pack before I end up getting in a situation with the top bloke and all the hyenas follow his lead to ostricizing me. It used to bother me but I've become used to being a bit of a lone wolf.

My questions I guess are these,

How do I solve my vanilla personality??? I workout but realise now I have no hobbies although, I've just started scuba diving and fishing again.

How do other people my age so casually go about having casual sex, I dont want to be a player and trust me it's far from happening but I dont understand how everyone seems to be making all this seem so easy.??

Where am I going wrong??