Reply
Thu 19 May, 2005 02:27 pm
I am a cross-dressing male in his mid 40s. I like to jog. In my favorite neglige. It's silk, and with a nice pair of nylon stockings, well, running down 2nd avenue in NYC is just such a joy.
Anyways...recently, After just having finished my early evening jog, as I stood at the corner of 84th and 2nd, right in front of Dorrian's, a couple came out of the bar. As they passed, the man shook his head in disgust at me.
I told him I thought that a gentleman with such an oddly-shaped head and such horrible fashion sense (white tennis shoes with a pair of dark chinos--really, how gauche) shouldn't go around casting aspersions on others, to which he replied, "Man-bitch", and pushed me.
As I was not expecting this, I stumbled and ripped my nylons as I scraped my leg against a nearby parking meter. I immediately responded by grabbing him and lifting him into what my brother used to refer to as a "fireman's carry", and tossing him to the ground, where I then proceeded to kick him until I was physically restrained by some passersby.
His wife seemed to enjoy the beating I gave to her husband. Just as the ambulance arrived to take them away, she handed me something, which I discovered later to be a napkin with her phone number written on it.
Lara. Such a pretty name.
My question is, would it be bad form to ask her out sometime?
Is your name Elegant Elliott?
I think I fell over your clear-heels once and the phone number of my 400lb convict pen-pal fell out of my pocket. S'funny, he hasn't called me in a while ... I wonder if he's out yet.
Oh my, I remember that! And by the way, he's out, girl. In more ways than one!
That's what I thought. He always did say he liked a light slapping now and again. Tell Spit-Shine I was asking after him.
I certainly will.
By the way, I think I remember you too...you used to do a little show at that lesbian dive bar in Hell's Kitchen...I believe it was called "Rooby Shoo's" and you went by the name, "Sword Swallowing Serena"...that was you, wasn't it? Loved your act.
That was a while ago, when I was young and weighed less than 250lbs, still had both ears attached to the side of my head, and my throat hadn't closed up due to an apparent long-term allergic reaction to metal. If you're ever walking down 2nd Ave again (sorry running, tottering, whatever), I'm the one with the orange-dyed hair (bald patch at back of head due to dispute with crack-whores last Saturday), wearing a traecheotomy voice-box and amputated right foot (from those blasted clear heels). I'll keep an eye out for you ... wait, I only HAVE one eye left, the other one is glass ...
Don't worry, I love bald patches on women, especially on the back of the head. I'll hopefully run into you someday soon, my darling Serena--though I hope not literally!--And maybe we'll go shopping for eye patches together. Although I don't need one, I think they are a simply stunning way to accessorize any outfit...ooh, I have really gotten distracted by all this girl talk...you never answered my original question...do you think it would be bad form for me to ask out this troglodyte's woman?
I heard cross coders were also cross dressers.
Absolutely not. "Lara" - what kind of a weird-ass name is that? She probably goes to Church and visits neighbors and ****. She sounds like a freak man!
Does she happen to be a Lesbian, old boy? Could make all the difference you know.
In that case, give me her number.
I don't know if she's a lesbian or not.
Although, she did have a rather large hump on her back, which I thought was rather interesting and yes, incredibly sexy...but you're probably right, she seemed to have all her teeth, and no bald patches...she's probably not "our" kind of people...
She's probably from the "camel" family. It's alright, I know that lot. They spit quite a bit but then I'm used to that.
Maybe she's into watching two grown men kicking seven bells out of each other. Give her a ring and invite her along for a stroll round the Bronx.
a Cross dressing male is not an object of desire so much as an object of illusion.
kickycancan wrote:I don't know if she's a lesbian or not.
Although, she did have a rather large hump on her back, which I thought was rather interesting and yes, incredibly sexy...but you're probably right, she seemed to have all her teeth, and no bald patches...she's probably not "our" kind of people...
Was she one of these kind?
.
.
. . . I like the new accessories they've been wearing. Hubba hubba ching ching!
I like the one on the end - kind of makes me all funny inside.
Ooh, that one on the left has 14 minutes left on her...and look how her sweet little coin slot is just sitting there, open, inviting...hmmm...I seem to have found a fresh roll of quarters here!
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace