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Why is she behaving this way

 
 
Juan24
 
Reply Wed 12 Jun, 2019 05:08 pm
Hello guys, I am not the kind of fellow who usually use relationship forums, but i feel like i dont have any option left and i could really use your input to help me out .
I have been with my wife since 2010 when we met in school, At that time we were both 15 years old.
In 2014 i was offered a job, so i had to quit university without a degree and had to move abroad.
The job itself brought so many exposures to me, And the first signs of troubles started around mid 2016 when i used my Instagram to wish an old friend of mine happy birthday that i knew way back since i was doing part time jobs at a small hotel to make some spares. . And the next morning after i posted the birthday wish, my wife called me ranting about things like, why are you engaging with this guy dont you know that he is gay? And i was like yeah so what? Whats wrong with sending a friend birthday greetings regardless of his sexuality, besides i have known him since i was barely making a living and i remember at times we had to join money just to get a pizza at work, I always considered him as a brother and in return he treated me with respect and never tried to hit on me.
A couple months later she started behaving weirder,
whenever i groomed myself she would get angry. And at one time we were going out and she got angry because i had put on a slim fit pair of jeans instead of the old 1999 baggy jeans that she wanted me to put on.
Any time i uploaded a photo online she would get angry. And accuse me of trying to get the girls attention. (Even photo's of birds) or our dogs.
Also she has a couple of times posted humiliating photos online of me, not sexual but gross stuffs like the one time she took a photo of me while i was using the toilet and another time also i was butt naked in the swimming pool and she took a photo of me from behind and uploaded.
I tried to reasoned with her that these kinds of things can affect my career but she is having none of it and claims that she found those photos humourous and she thinks nothing bad can come from it.
Now whenever she sees young graduates on tv, she makes sarcastic remarks as if im a failure. But because of the contracts i signed in 2014, Not only did i managed to give her a better life, but of her parents also. I feel like she is doing things that would make other peoples repulsed by me. Its sickening to think about it but i dont have anyone i can talk to, usually things like this i talk with my mom,and she advises me what to do, but if she knew everything that i that i wrote here she would hate my wife and i dont want that to happen. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THE BROKEN ENGLISH,I COME FROM A LATIN COUNTRY
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Wed 12 Jun, 2019 05:45 pm
@Juan24,
Why stay?
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Wed 12 Jun, 2019 09:24 pm
@Juan24,
Your wife sounds like a nightmare. Posting semi-lurid photos to social media can be damaging to your career and she should knock it off. I think it would be a good idea to talk to your mother, she loves you and if your wife shapes up, your mother won't hate her.

If the situation was reversed, my thoughts would be the same. Your spouse is becoming a bit of a bully.

Juan24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Jun, 2019 04:21 am
@jespah,
My kids are the main reasons for me staying, Being a child who was raised by a single mother i dont want want my childs to grow up in a separated family because i have had times when i wished i had a dad at home, simple things like seeing a father-son moments in movies has left me tearful and emotionally wrecked during my child hood to early teen days.. But i do get your point tho ♥
Juan24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Jun, 2019 04:46 am
@glitterbag,
Unfortunately yeah she has became a bully. I have decided later that i will have a serious talk with her. If things doesnt improve, i think i will have to speak to my mom like you have advised me ♥
Juan24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Jun, 2019 04:51 am
@Juan24,
btw sorry for the double comments guys, its my first time here so im not to familiar with the format here.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Thu 13 Jun, 2019 05:17 am
@Juan24,
Don't worry about the double comments. Smile

I understand that you want to do the best for your children, but allowing your wife to ruin your life and career is not the way to go about it.
0 Replies
 
greg12
 
  0  
Reply Thu 13 Jun, 2019 06:11 am
@Juan24,
Sounds like she needs to be put in her place. You've let her get away w too much, you are the man of the house and you've treated her well. Don't beat her or anything, but assert some man authority, I mean that's the only way to keep the relationship stable without divorce.
HabibUrrehman
 
  0  
Reply Thu 13 Jun, 2019 11:01 am
@Juan24,
Hello my friend,

I accidently stumbled upon this post and really hope that by now you have already discussed this with your wife. If not then you should do that first.

You should mention that how important she is in your life (sometimes women need more security, expressing your love for your wife gives them the security they need). Openly share how her attitude is affecting you. This is very important because sometime people do thing unintentionally.
Relationship between husband and wife is very sensitive and it takes many sacrifices and good understanding from both. It becomes more sensitive and stronger ( in most cases) after kids. So you guys have to discuss openly what bothers you and her and how you can address your problems as adults. If this works out between you guys then that's great.

If not, I would suggest that talk to her about counseling. When a third person hear problems from both sides, the opinion of third person is normally unbiased and provides a good solution to problem. Make sure this third person is neutral and not a close friend of any of you.

If counseling does not work then involve family. I am saying this because as adults you should be able to solve your own problems. If parents know about these issue, they get worried and we should try to keep our parents away from our problems as much as possible. This is the secret to get respect from your parents and keep them happy. Every parent want happiness for their kids and they can resolve issues based on their experience and bond which they have created with you guys over the years. Just listen to your parents as long as you feel like their efforts and advise will keep you guys together. What I want to say is that don't part your ways with your wife because your parents hate her and only need a reason to convince you to divorce her.

If that does not work either, then separate yourself for few months to see how that will impact your, her and your kids life. Make sure this separation is mutual agreement and trial based to see the consequences of any extreme decision on you, your wife and kids. Sometimes, seeing problems make people appreciate what they used to have. If this does not work either, then it is best for you to separate your ways.

I really hope your relationship works out but if it does not then you will know that you did your best to keep the relationship and it was just not meant to work out for some good reasons.

All the best.
Juan24
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Jun, 2019 04:42 am
@greg12,
Greg, Earlier today i wrote a list of everything that has been bothering me. I took Almost one and a half hour memorizing the list of every weak points and every bad things that i felt was causing damages to the relationship. I took the same initiative of asserting a more dominant role as you have advised me without lifting a finger to hit or threatens her. She remained mostly speechless throughout the discussion with some slight nodding in affirmative whenever i would say something. The discussion also got a little heated up once i started, i guess all these bottled up emotions were the main reasons i got carried away, There was a bit of table-slamming moments but i tried to kept my tone down. Im pretty sure i rattled her to the core because most of the time she would fight or raised her voice back with sarcastic comments.
0 Replies
 
Juan24
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Jun, 2019 05:13 am
@HabibUrrehman,
Hello Habib,
First let me thank you for your reply, Yes we just had a talk, Hopefully things shall improve after this.
Trust me i have done so much for and will keep on trying to show her how much i care for her. This one i have no doubt that i have excelled at doing.
Yes i do get your reason of not dragging my mother into our marital problems. But knowing my mom she will get angry later on she learns that i was keeping my marital problems away from her.. I took your advice and i will try to remember your Advices. We are taking the kids for a Thailand Temple tours in a few weeks and possibly i can find a person there that can counsel us.
0 Replies
 
Juan24
 
  2  
Reply Fri 14 Jun, 2019 05:19 am
@Juan24,
I would love to thank you each and everyone here that has helped me with your advice, all your comments is really valuable to me and i found a lesson in each of you. You guys a such a blessing to others.I wished i could have the writing skills and good expertise in dating as you guys have. Anytime i run into a steel wall i will know where to turn to. You guys rock ♥
0 Replies
 
 

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