Strange sexual fantasies; curious about psychology behind them

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I’m a 22 year old male with some really “out there” paraphilias. I’ve known for a long time now that I’m a bit masochistic, and that I have both a foot and balloon fetish. But recently I’ve been living out these odd fantasies in privacy (Been single for nearly a year) where I will play with balloons and pretend to be a stern parent to myself, whereas I will take the balloon away from myself and pop it as a punishment for something. Then it graduated to cheap toys and baubles. I read up on this adult baby stuff, and it doesn’t seem like something I’m totally into. I find the idea of wearing diapers or being burped and sh*t kinda gross, but having my things destroyed and being spanked is actually closer to what I’m going for. I don’t know why I feel like this as outside of sex I’m a pretty average guy. I never went through a lot of serious abuse as a kid, not the physical kind anyway, and I usually maintain a very commanding presence in my day to day affairs. So what causes this kind of behavior? Are there other people like this specifically, or is this just a little too f’d up for there to be a niche? My curiosity is peaked...

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@Watzitooya,

Yes, what you are describing is "kink". There is a whole community of "kink". If this post is serious and you are interested in exploring this, you should definitely get in touch with your local kink group.

The kink community in general is supportive and responsible, they promote healthy communication and consent in sexual encounters. There is a supportive group of people who will accept and support and probably you can find partners to share these fantasies with.

I recommend "The Bottoming Book" (or its partner "the Topping Book" if you are so inclined, but what you are describing is bottom behavior) as a well written and pretty decent introduction.

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"having my things destroyed and being spanked is actually closer to what I’m going for."

Well, there shouldn't be too much of a problem getting someone to take part in/share this "kink " with you. You just have to find a safe group.

If this becomes a frightening compulsion, you might want to talk to a therapist. You say you weren't abused as a youngster. How about your relationship with siblings? Perhaps this goes back to childhood interactions that became sexual turnons for you.

In any case, no harm done. Stop thinking badly of yourself.

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@PUNKEY,

My relationships with my younger siblings have always been somewhat strained at best. The house only became really dysfunctional when my mom left us halfway through childhood. My dad was always kind of strict and I had to force myself to grow up quickly without mom so I could care for my siblings. But all this sounds like a topic for a different post.

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Strange sexual fantasies; curious about psychology behind them

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