Is the guy I met actually gay?

Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 04:53 pm
So I'm gay and I met a very nice cute guy at my friend's wedding. We were chatting and kind of flirting (at least I think we were) but here's where I think I went wrong - there was an older relative of the bride there trying to get me to talk to girls, and I was joking with an old friend about them all being not my type, but I never actually said why and from that point onward, things seemed to slightly cool with the guy - I think he might not have understood the joke and thought I was actually straight, or just kind of felt excluded from the chat as though we were having kind of private jokes!

Anyway we swapped numbers at the end of the night (and I was like phew, ok I didn't mess this up totally) because he was going to give someone a lift home then come join a few of us at a late bar, and I thought, fine I'll set the record straight there. Only problem is because he got delayed, he didn't get into the bar because they were full - he texted me to tell me sorry he couldn't get in and wish me a good night (nothing more). Anyway, I messaged him that it was such a shame to miss him and would he be free the next day while I was still in town for a drink. He replied he was busy but I should 'absolutely' let him know next time I'm in town.

I'm just not sure what the situation is. Does he realise I'm into him, or is he talking about just a friendly drink? You're wondering why does this matter... well because the town is about a two hour drive away and I don't really have any business there other than seeing my friends who are away for a month on a honeymoon. I don't mind driving up there with some random but only if there is a chance of this thing. How on earth do I check without seeming weird?

Yeah I know the big life lesson from this before someone tells me. Just be straightforward next time I'm at a wedding or similar and don't play word games or silly jokes - just make it clear I'm gay and available.

Any advice much appreciated!
Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 05:26 pm
No such thing as a sure thing.

Sounds like you can set the record straight with some phone calls as to your status. But you don’t know his. So do this instead of the two hour drive. That drive sounds like it bothers you, anyway. .
Reply Sat 11 May, 2019 04:16 pm
Well it turns out he’s straight. Or at least he says he is (you’d share my doubts if you met him!) but yeah you were right phone was the way forward not a long drive with no idea of how the land lies.

And yeah no such thing as a sure thing indeed!

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Reply Mon 20 May, 2019 08:19 pm
Never know unless you ask. I'm not a realationship expert but I am bi, and when I ask out another girl I do the same as I would in a straight situation. Try asking if he's ok with the lgbt community first, then see if he gets it.
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Reply Sun 17 May, 2020 05:22 am
glad everything ended up in such a non harmful way! Wink
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