ODES TO THE GOD SQUAD

Please allow me to introduce myself
I?m a man of wealth and taste
I?ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man?s soul and faith
And I was ?round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what?s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general?s rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what?s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I?m a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached bombay
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what?s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what?s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me lucifer
?cause I?m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I?ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what?s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, what?s my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what?s my name
I tell you one time, you?re to blame
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

I remember that "Buddy Jesus" from some movie, which one?

A festive CYO Party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom dance, the "Hokey Pokey," baked goods, & FATHER RILEY making sure the lights don't go down too low...

Father Riley And Various Party Goers:
Catholic Girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary
Catholic Girls
At the CYO
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
There can be no replacement
How do they go, after the show?

Joe:
All the way
That's the way they go
Every day
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-Hip-Hooray
For all the class they show
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
At the CYO
When they learn to blow...

Father Riley:
They're learning to blow
All the Catholic Boys!

Mary:
Warren Cuccurullo...

Father Riley:
Catholic Boys!

Mary:
Kinda young, kinda WOW!

Father Riley:
Catholic Boys!

Mary:
Vinnie Colaiuta...

Chorus:
Where are they now?
Did they all take The Vow?

Father Riley:
Catholic Girls

Warren:
Carmenita Scarfone!

Father Riley:
Catholic Girls

Officer Butzis:
Hey! She gave me VD!

Father Riley:
Catholic Girls!

Warren:
Toni Carbone!

Chorus:
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go WOW!

Joe:
VD vowdy vootie
Right away
That's the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
With her hand in the box
When she's on her knees

Larry:
She was on her knees,
My little Catholic Girl

Chorus:
In a little white dress
Catholic Girls
They never confess
Catholic Girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
(etc.)

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
Joe had a girl friend named Mary.
She used to go the church club every week.
They'd meet each other there
Hold hands
And think Pure Thoughts
But one night at the Social Club meeting
Mary didn't show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free...