Not only are her posts knowledgeable and wise, but she is quite an eloquent writer. Occasionally we get it right here in Oklahoma.
(FYI, I'm in Tulsa. See profile.)
I agree with the others. I thought you were much older, Sanctuary! Very smart girl!
Sanctuary wrote:All I can say is this: talk to your kids.
I know we moan and groan and demand our freedom, etc., etc., but inside we're aching for guidance. I promise you. Never stop showing your kids they matter, and never stop asking them how their day went.
Very well said, Sanctuary.
Wow, folks. I am utterly flattered, and while I feel a bit guilty for directing the topic even further from it's orgin, I want to thank you all again - I really, really do appreciate you saying that.
Hi all.
As one who has dealt with my own depression/bipolar disorder and ocd-like symptoms for many of my 42 years (probably starting in my relatively early childhood) and the parent of a 15 year old with bipolar disorder, ocd-like symptoms and who has cut on herself I felt compelled to add my two cents worth.
First I'd like to thank MysteryMan for an excellent post and link.
Next, Aidan, you're correct, for me anyway. It IS bone chilling to discover that your child is cutting. Especially after she's labelled cutting as "disgusting" and "unthinkable". Fortunately she was also able to come to us within an hour of having cut on herself and we immediately but calmly got her help. We went to a hospital that has an adolescent program, in patient and out, where she got wonderful help. It's been 3 months since the second time she cut and was admitted (second time for that as well).
In addition to cutting on herself, she has hallucinations because of her bipolar disorder. During her second stay in the adolescent in-patient program, she had her worst response yet to the hallucinations. This was fortunate that it occured while she was there as the staff got to witness it and how it affected her. She was put on a medication (Geodon) to help control the hallucinations. She's doing much better now, although the hallucinations and bipolar are still evidencing themselves.
Although my daugher, unbeknownst to me, has long had the urge to harm herself somehow, she didn't have the thought of how to do so. Not until a friend of hers shared her own experience and method. Sadly, that girl believes she has no one she can confide in and I don't live near her, nor do I have a relationship with her parents that I feel I can openly share what I know about their daughter.
As far as I have learned while my daughter was in both in and out patient programs, cutting is NOT attention seeking behaviour and although it's not USUALLY an attempt at suicide, sometimes that's the thought behind it. Nor is it a "trend" as ehbeth pointed out, it's been around for a long time. I believe it seems to be becoming more prevalent due to the media bringing it to light.
Regarding "snapping out of" depression, some people are depressed as a result of a situation. Once they work through the situation or it resolves itself, they find their depression clears up usually. Sometimes however, this triggers a chemical reaction. From my research, I've gleened that the longer one remains negative in thought, the more likely they are to change their brain chemistry so that they become biochemically depressed. Others are born this way or become this way early on.
While medications can help ease depression (and being on meds is NOT indicative of a character flaw or weakness), medication is said to be only 20% of the solution. The rest of it is in changing ones mind set to a more positive one. Easier said than done. Try being positive during a bout of depression! However difficult it is, it IS possible with great determination and work.
The depression causes the negative thoughts much of the time which creates a vicious cycle of negative thoughts worsening the depression and chemical imbalance and the depression perpetuation the negativity. With bipolar disorder, quite often, after a manic episode, there is the "crash" a deep depression reported to not be affected by medication. This is why treating the imbalance is so crucial.
Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. David Burns have wonderful works to help in this endeavour and I highly recommend them, especially the workbook of David Burns.
Sorry to have gone on, but I thought it important to dispell myths.
Thank you for the opportunity to express myself and share my experience and knowledge.
Beth
Beth--
Welcome. Thanks for a very well-though, well phrased post with authority behind your opinion.
