Women if you don't think sex is important....

I didn't realize that marriage vows came with footnotes and exceptions.

I'm just saying it wouldn't be cheating if she said it's not important.

Aren't you like 20-something?

This reeeeally shouldn't be an issue for a couple your age, unless she has just had a baby or something.

At least that's what I think.

i'm just afraid of being in this situation one day in future

ahhh.

It's something that needs to be made clear at the onset of the relationship. As much as I'm not a person who is fond of religion in formal settings, I do see quite a bit of benefit to pre-marital counselling.

Get the ground rules clear. For couples who aren't good at talking about serious 'stuff', having professional guidance at the beginning can really make the difference.

Maybe. There is a certain part of the world that uses anymore in a different way than you or I might, dys.

It doesn't necessarily (I was just reminded of that on another thread this morning) mean something that was once but is no longer.

I had sex once, but it was so scary . . .



. . . i was alone . . .

Re: Women if you don't think sex is important....


"Labido," heh.

EhBeth makes an excellent point about talking about important issues before the issues become important.


Tenoch--

Aren't you borrowing trouble? Or is this question an abstract discussion?

You declared:



You promise to forsake all others....unless you are sexually frustrated?

I wouldn't marry you.

So say your partner said that they were into... i dunno, S+M? skank? rape scenarios?? Something that gets them off anyway.... and you weren't into it. Would you have a problem with them going elsewhere to get that bit of gratification? Somehow i doubt it.

I'm just saying. Alot of stuff happens to couples once they get married. I guess it happens mostly to couples that get married young and are still in a stage of transition. Of course, if you like having sex, don't marry somebody who doesn't. What if that person just flips on you all of a sudden one day and decides she just doesn't want to.

I've just thinking about the many different scenerios that can happen becasue usually in relationships that i know of, the girl doesn't want to do it anymore. Sometimes it's the guy, but mostly it's the woman.

I think it depends on the situation.

Sex is a natural instinct; humans need sex (there are few that have overcome the basic desire for it, but for the rest of us - it can mean built up tension, resentment, and stress when we don't get our 'release').

Now, for someone to be interested in sex (on a regular basis - I don't mean they give it up here and there, still struggling but sex nonetheless) to lose that interest, and for someone to just never really be interested in it in the first place, are two different stories IMO.

If they actual lose interest - then I think something psychological or physical is going on with them. Either they have become self-concious, been abused, are having hygine issues, or something else. I wouldn't imagine a drop in sexual interest would occur naturally without some trigger.

If someone was never interested in sex too much to begin with, yet the partner was, then I see no room to complain if they went on and married them despite the knowledge of this.

I do think it's okay in some situations to seek it else where if your partner is not pleasing you. However, I think it all depends on personal morals (whatever they may be, not an issue of right or wrong) and commitment elsewhere in the relationship.

However, as I said, sex is a basic need - so I would not blame my own partner for seeking it elsewhere if I were to up and forfeit a formerly normal event in our relationship. Some may think it's shallow, but I honestly do believe that sex is a major key player in most relationships. *shrug*

Sanctuary, you hit the nail right on the head. I'm not talking about somebody who has always not been sexual. LIke you said, i was concerned about a significant other just changing their minds after years and years of different behavior.

Cheating on someone usually involves lying. If your wife admits she is not interested in having sex with you and gives you her blessing as far as having sex with someone else, that's not technically cheating. But it wouldn't make for much of a marriage either.
If you and your wife have differing levels of sexual desire and it is causing stress in your marriage, and if you're interested in staying married, the next step would be to talk together about what might be going on and hopefully working together to find a compromise that will work for both of you or a solution to whatever the problem might be that triggered your partner's turn-off to sex. It might have something to do with you or your behavior, and if you ask her and become aware of what the problem is, you may be able to be part of the solution. Whatever the reason is, you owe it to her to at least try to help her work through it.
Finding someone else to have sex with is not in the best interest of your marriage. If that's your primary agenda - you should probably find someone else to be married to as well - in the long run that would be a lot less complicated.

If things start going south in the bedroom, it could be because of issues in the relationship. Maybe the woman is being deprived of some basic need in the relationship? And this action could be a clue? Relationships should be nurturing for both involved, its an expression of love to be that way. Honestly, it doesn't take much to just give in to intercourse to a man...we dont even have to be aroused. But, if she gave in, could she feel like she is the one to do without in the end? The best sex is in loving caring relationships. Relationships that make you want to please your partner. i honestly beleive the true definition of love is how your partner makes you feel about yourself.

Sex drive is fuled by hormones. Birth control pills, pregnancy and childbirth, age, and diet all affect hormones. A woman who's sex drive takes a sudden turn could be experiencing a sudden change in hormone levels.

Or maybe she's sick of your constant pawing and childlike pleading for sex.

Who knows?

You crack me up FreeDuck, that just brought a smile to my face.