Fri 25 Jan, 2019 12:18 pm
Ok so cries. Mom caught me h*umping on pillow & bolster, then she came in my room and idk if it was awkward for her too but she said like “wth r u doing, why r u doing that, i bet ure skinny bcs u always do that, ure not in the age for that” and i just answered no to her question and put a "hehe" smile, i was shock & didnt know wat to do. And honestly IDRK what to ask here- umm maybe...
1. What do you think abt my story..?
2. What would u guys do if u were me?
3. What shudve i said to her?
1. I’m a F, gonna turn 19 this June. The only child.
2. Introverted (INTP). Self-learner, I (mostly) learn almost everything. Quiet person yea.
3. My relationship w my parents isnt like those harmonize & lovely families that eat tgt in one table, laugh tgt, watch tv tgt, there r reasons for that (like we r poor, we dont do those fancy activities, etc), but like we are OKAY tho. But yea, we don't rlly talk much, we mostly talk about easy topics, not serious topics.
4. I’m from +62 which is why this kind of stuff is quite taboo, most parents in my country dont sex educate their children. Never even talk abt it.
5. If you’re wondering abt my sexuality, me too, HAHA JK, but true tho- i think i’m a bi. I love looking at handsome faces. When I masturbate, or when I watch porn, I always inagine to be the guy, I love to hear the girl’s moans BCS, from my deepest heart & mind, I wanna be a man for many reasons but no, its not like i dont love myself, i just- wanna be a man. I can have a crush, but never to females. But like, IRL, im not interested to be in a relationship (cuz yea maybe bcs im introverted and also i love staying at home playing games, etc.).
6. Yes, I’m skinny, 160cm 42kg, I used to always have 46kg, but I got stressed alot bcs of high school, done online depression test and result is Im at mild depression. Lol. The only reason I’ve been suspicious of is that I think I have problem w my thyroid, hyperthyroidism maybe, Idk, i never check it up to a doc. I’d like to talk abt my weight on a post but nah, this post first-
7. Related to number six, I love to sleep & eat, I’m quite a lazy person, I don't rlly do smth hard, I eat enuf, thrice a day, I can even sleep right after i sleep, i can sleep for 10 hours (yea i have problem w my sleep & circadian rhythm is ruined af), my kind of nap cam be 3 hours.
8. I don’t wanna talk abt it (yet), but yea... I think I’m addicted to mstrbt.
I THINK THAT'S ALL GUYS, PLS DO ANSWER THIS POST. This js literally my first time on this website. Just to vent it all out. Thx, GBU. :''')
Of course you're addicted to masturbation. You're 18 years old.
And it's not a dirty word. It's normal.
What was said is the past. Going over what you allegedly should have said is a counterproductive waste of time. You can't change that. And nor should you have to. You were caught off guard in a private moment, doing absolutely nothing wrong, and you were insulted to boot. Nobody can expect to have a snappy comeback for that.
Forget about this specific incident for the moment. I'm a helluva lot more concerned about what seems to be pretty routine body shaming by your mother. Being 18 and underweight is also utterly normal. To be bullied for being normal is awful. No wonder you're a touch depressed.
I take it you're in a country where therapy is out of the question because oh my God the universe isn't supposed to know that you're imperfect.
If such is the case, then all I can tell you is to hang in there as best as you can until you can leave. And close and lock your door. You are entitled to privacy no matter what your mother thinks.
And for God's sake, please stop writing in so much text speak. It's exceptionally annoying and, frankly, it's inadequate to the task of describing your life.
Two issues here.
1) Masturbation is a normal part of life, most people do it (especially in your late teens early twenties). If it is making you feel better and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, then no problem. There. Thaat was easy.
2) The real issue here is your relationship with your mom. You are 19.. you are an adult (I think everywhere). Your mom is being unreasonable. You have to figure out how to manage that.
One strategy is to try to talk to her as an adult to adult. You can tell her that you feel like you need your privacy and tell her how you feel that she is lecturing you on this. The issue is privacy (not masturbation... which is your private decision). Ask her if you can have your privacy.
“I’m a lazy person...”
Self diagnosis as “mild depression.”
Get a complete physical. Tell the Dr about how you feel (NOT about the masturbation, or sexual fantasies- these aren’t the issue)
Join a gym and get out of the house, around other people.