His nuts were on display !

Time 7am. Date Tuesday 12th April.

I have just got back from having a stroll up to my local newsagents and am still in a mild state of shock!
There were about six of us in the shop (five men and one woman) and we were waiting to pay for our newspapers. The shop owner was busy fiddling with his cash mashine and loading it up with change for the day, and being typically polite Brits, we had formed an orderly queue and were discussing things such as the lovely weather, how George's piles were healing, that sort of thing.
The automatic doors then swished open, and we all watched as a six foot canary walked in. It picked up a newspaper and approached the queue.
It was then that I realised that it was a male cyclist, in one of those "all in one" fluorescent, skin tight lycra outfits.
All conversation stopped, and I cant confirm it, but I would suspect that all eyes went immediately to his "lunchbox" area. Even the coins stopped jangling into the till for ten seconds or so.
There are certain times when you just cant help your eyes moving to a forbidden area and this was one of them. Speaking as a reasonably horny male, I find the same fascination when confronted with a well blessed lady who has a tight T shirt and nothing underneath. You WANT to keep eye contact and conduct a polite conversation, but your brain is screaming "LOOK AT THEM....YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!"...so you try to distract your brain and try to convince it that she is only smuggling a couple of Peanuts, but the brain wont have it......"THEY'RE NOT PEANUTS, THEY'RE HER LADYBUMPS...GO ON...SNEAK A PEEK!". She then catches you in mid leer and dismisses you as some kind of perv. Life is so unfair sometimes. Men should be made to wear mirror sunglasses throughout the summer months. Anyway, back to the matter in hand (if you'll excuse the pun).
In this short time, I gathered enough visual information about the wannabe Canary to confirm that he hung to the left, was obviously suffering from the chilly wind outside, and that his nuts were large. Just try to visualise two hard boiled eggs wrapped up in a handkerchief.
He then took his place immediately behind me in the queue, and we all stood in silence, apart from the woman whose shoulders were visibly quivering, as she suppressed the giggles.
I now confess to my one piece of wickedness for the day.....I tapped the guy in front of me on the shoulder, and said in a loud enough voice "Excuse me, could you save my place in the queue for a sec, I forgot to get my nuts", and walked off to pick up a packet of peanuts from the nearby display.
When I turned back to the queue, they were all looking at me, including the canary, and everyone (again including the canary) burst out laughing.
I am quite an expert at keeping a straight face, but I also broke down and rejoined the now raucous queue.
The lady was waiting for me as I left the shop, and told me I had made her day. She also said that her theory was that any man that dressed like that was an exhibitionist, and if she saw her husband dressed up as a canary, she would throw a bucket of water over him.
I bet she ogles the male sprinters during the olympics though!
Come on girls....its confession time....how many of you admire their fine facial features as they are sprinting towards you on a slow motion replay?