Divorce is simple (not emotionally easy, but simple).
If you can't "get past it" then just end it. There is no point in rehashing anything. There is no score to be counted. Just leave and be done with it. There are only two things that matter in a divorce; you divide the money, and take care of the children. There is nothing else to talk about.
If you aren't going to get a divorce, then you have to work through your marriage. You have to explain how you feel hurt... and you have to listen to how you have hurt him. That is how marriages work.
So make a decision. If it is divorce, then end it and move on.