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How to tell my parents I was lying to them for a long time

 
 
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 05:11 am
I’ve been lying to my parents for almost 5 years about my (girl)friend. I met her by a friend when I was 14. When I told my mom and dad them I am going to a friend’s house, they asked who she was. Me, afraid of not getting permission to go to someone I barely knew, told them she was my classmate’s sister. And that’s how it all started and goes on to this day. Every time I go to her place I have to lie to them. A few months ago, I went to a wedding of her cousin with her. So I told my parents I’m going with a friend they didn’t know and told them her real name. So afterthat, they think there are two girls. The problem is that my father is lifting us up for my prom Friday. And I already told him that she lives right next to her actual home. He drove me to her actual place a few times so he will find out about the lie, especially that he thinks both girls have the same name and that he saw her and that I showed him a picture some random girl when he wanted to see a pic of the other girl . I don’t want it to emerge while we’re all in the car on our way to the prom. She would hate me.
I have to tell him now, but I don’t know how, I’ve been lying for so long.
 
View best answer, chosen by nicolausk
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 06:16 am
@nicolausk,
What country do you live in?
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 06:16 am
@nicolausk,
"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, ___(whatever her name is)." And let the damned chips fall where they may. Yeah, you're in it deep. And to keep this from your girlfriend as well was a bad idea.

I don't think you'll get out of this one unscathed.
nicolausk
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 06:41 am
@chai2,
Finland
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 07:44 am
How old are you now?
0 Replies
 
engineer
  Selected Answer
 
  4  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 07:55 am
@jespah,
Of course we don't know your parents, but you might get a better response by sitting down with one of your parents and being completely honest. "I was scared to tell you this but here goes. ..." You seem to be saying you were lying out of fear and honestly in some households that fear might be justified. If you don't think your parents are going to freak out and put you in a dangerous situation (and it doesn't sounds like you do), just tell them you were frightened and so you've been avoiding the truth.
nicolausk
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 08:31 am
@engineer,
Thanks, I think I am ready now!
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  0  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 08:38 am
Start with "Mom, dad... I'm pregnant." then when it all calms down go with "Just kidding, I'm gay."
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 12:02 pm
@engineer,
agreed and since you said you were 14 when you started this lie 5 years ago that makes you 19 now. So a young adult. I would be straight with them - and say since I was so young I was afraid to tell you the truth - my hiding this has caused it to get out of hand and I am sorry/embarrassed/whatever you feel and say you want to come clean.

At 19 you are way too hold to have such a lie.
PUNKEY
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 02:43 pm
@Linkat,
Father driving them to the dance?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 02:56 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:

Father driving them to the dance?


for almost 5 years about my (girl)friend. I met her by a friend when I was 14

0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 03:09 pm
Well, hit me in the head with a stick, 'cause I don't get it.

He met her when he was 14. He said this lie has been going on for 5 years. Does that make him about 19?

We don't know how old SHE is.

Do parents drive 19 year olds to their prom? A Finland thing?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 03:40 pm
@PUNKEY,
She was obviously 5 years old and is now 10.

That's the reason he has been hiding it. Rolling Eyes

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Education_in_Finland

I imagine if this guy doesn't drive, then yes, his parents might give him a ride.

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 07:03 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:
Do parents drive 19 year olds to their prom? A Finland thing?


it's a life thing

not all teenagers drive - happens all over the world
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Jan, 2019 04:36 am
@ehBeth,
Lots of people live in cities and use public transport. London is a prime example, plenty of ways to get about without using a car, and who wants to learn to drive in London? I'm an experienced driver and I avoid driving through London wherever possible. Whenever I go to London I drive to Hammersmith, park up and use the tube.

Mark is far from unusual.

0 Replies
 
 

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