I need help

Reply Mon 14 Jan, 2019 03:51 am
Hello, I am a 14 year old boy and the oldest of 3 siblings
im also homeschooled and barely taught (if at all) anything
I've talked with my parents about public school but they just tell me that this is the way I'm going to be homeschooled and I should just get used to it
They also made me do excessive chores such as "cleaning their room/closet/bathroom" or "cleaning the laundry room/kitchen" and of course few people can actually handle that every single day and when I get tired they call me lazy and that I just need to honor them more. For some reason (actually what my mother said) they think that just because they are an adult they don't have to clean anymore and its my responsibility to keep the house clean
I even called DHR and got scared last second and told them everything was alright because I was afraid how my parents would react
They also like guilt tripping me into doing what they say like bringing up the fact that my mother had two baby's less than 4 years ago and that I should obey the bible and honor them
and my mom is prying into my business like crazy
She won't let me play online games or even listen to music with my headphones on!
when I tell her she doesn't have to do that she just makes up excuses like "I just want to know you".

​​​​​​​Is there SOME possible way I could be live with my grandparents or fostered to a different family or something?
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Reply Mon 14 Jan, 2019 05:56 am
There's nothing wrong with your mother wanting to know you.

The rest of it? Talk to your grandparents. Not about living with them, but about spending the summer with them. You may find you return and the problems are diminished. Or worse. Or you have a new perspective on them.

But this will try on living with your grandparents. You may find that's not all it's cracked up to be.
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Reply Mon 14 Jan, 2019 12:59 pm
It’s hard to tell if you are being “abused.” Really, most 14 year olds feel like life is picking on them.

But I see some gratitudes here:

1. You write very well, (so you ARE being taught something )
2. You know how to clean - something most kids are never required to do. Some kids go to college without ever knowing how to make a bed or clean their room. You are way ahead on that one.
3. You have parents (who might be afraid of losing you to the outside world) but who really care about you.
4. You have the capability to negotiate with them about getting BOTH of your needs met, ie, room clean could equal half hour on computer.

As mentioned before, try to bring in an outside adult to get some balance so that you don’t feel powerless. ( relative? Pastor?)

And yes, line up that grandma vacation now. But realize that you will be required to clean there, too and games will be limited. Because that’s what adults have to do to get kids ready to be adults.
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