Sat 5 Jan, 2019 10:19 am
Hello folks and happy holidays. There's one matter that's been bugging me for the past few days and if possible, if someone could elaborate on this matter I'd be glad.
There's one person, friend of my friend, whom I met on a special occasion few days ago. I immediately found her attractive (well, because she is) and thought to myself "What If", but to be honest with you, I am in the state of my life right now, that I don't really need any relationship, but still having this "What If" thought, I asked my friend about her, if she had someone, his answer was negative, but also told me, that she broke up with her ex, but still loves and admires that person, and even if I asked her out, it would all go in vain.
His answer, honestly set me on fire, thinking, that without trying how would I know. I feel like a clumsy teenager even though I am in my late twenties, as I've never had such situation in my life before.
It's been few days now, and it's been bugging me even worse day after day, If I should ask her out or not ( I did not add her to any social media though).
So my question is mainly to females, if you had such situation before, when you still love your ex but someone else approaches you and how do you deal with them? Been thinking about it, I feel like I've already developed a strong crush on her, and yes! I know, that if I let it go I will eventually forget her, but I also don't want to be left with the feeling, that I could do something and I did not.
Note, that, when I said I don't need any relationship at this very moment is very true, but I kind of changed my heart, because of that situation
I would be pissed that some guy thought he was an expert on my feelings.
Not you, your pal.
Ignore what he says.
Did you have a connection to this gal? Then make the social media overtures and ask her for coffee. Not dinner. Not drinks. Not a date.
Sit. Chat. Have a lovely time. When you're done, say, "I had a really great time and I hope you did, too. Next time, can we make it a real date? Say, Saturday night?"
Ignore your pal. He's speculating and he's gossiping. Don't get on the gossip train, and don't go around wondering 'what if?'. Go ahead as if you had never talked to your pal, and see what happens.
I agree. When people break up with someone, they want friends around them. So start there - just being a friend.
You sound overanxious to start something up with her, romantically. Try to ratchet back on the assertiveness. Just make it casual.
(And don't pay any attention what other people think what's in her mind. If she's not interested at all in just going out for coffee or a movie, then she will let you know.)i
it would depend on how long since i was broken and your aggressiveness, appearance and personality. also how things were jiving with my ex since walk away. soonest I dated after break was a month. he was a super handsome friend of my ex and i think now it was a revenge tactic. i felt he would run to my ex and brag he was doing me. I suggest you move up on her slowly to see if she is done with ex or still in passion for him. definitely don't rush or be overly aggressive to her. you will probably sense her feelings by convos and mentions of her ex.
yeah, that's probably what I'll do. Thanks for your answers
Don't be shy! You will get what you deserve, I'm sure!