Stillwater's got his day in......

And where are you on finding your own lawyer?

I'm still confused on some details, forgive me if you said this already. I saw "Legal Aid", wasn't sure if that was about your own lawyer or not. If so, excellent!

Stilly - sane and rational????

Oh, well!

Well, THANK YOU!! When you're looking for some-one to post bail money, don't give out my name! 'Margo? Oh dear - a sane and rational person would help them out of this, but seeing that I AM NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS she'll just have to rot in jail! Excuse me while I phone my MP and recommend the return of flogging'

Right. Tomorrow we finally attend a Legal Aid Conference to sort out some of the issues.

The Legal Aid is a State Govt body that has also provided a Court-appointed Child's Representative for the children. She is separate (in theory) from any of the other lawyers involved. There is one for my ex, there was initially one for the father of Sarah and there would be one for me if I had one.

That is a total of 4 solicitors. Crap.

In reality there is only two and me. So they have taken the not suprising step of just keeping me out of the loop and presenting stuff to me at the last minute. The expectation is that I will have to take it on board and shut up because it would be hard for me to stand up in Court saying 'I'm reasonable' when I have just slapped some sense into the other side's representatives.

The conference tomorrow is to try to get us to mediate a solution and form a 'parenting plan'. This will bypass a lengthy and costly Court action, it could be that Legal Aid has a real incentive to do this. Either because they will save money or that the Court rewards them for not using its resources.

I don't know if my ex's side has Legal Aid. Sure as f*ck, I DON'T!

And how does the Expert's Report fit into all of this??

Basically it frees up the Court (and Legal Aid) by having a impartial view of how we are all coping with the break-up (especially the children). Unless one side wishes to contest every word, when it is time for a registrar to sign off on a plan and it doesn't conflict with the report... well, they will.

So, for me the news is good. Though late it says some very good things:

-I am not/wasn't an alcoholic
-it's perfectly OK for Sarah to have contact with me
-in spite of some serious problems with mental health both of us (as parents, at least) have spared the kids from some ongoing grief and have tackled some of the trickier bits without rancour
-I actually did a pretty good job of caring for everyone in spite of my own chronic depressive state


My ex cops a couple of serves for being somewhat in denial about the state of her mental health and not broaching the issue of Sarah's paternity with any tact or thoughfulness for the long-term good of the child.

Sounds good Stilly. The report, I mean.

(((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

Sounds pretty positive to me. Good!

I'd be cheering, too, if I wasn't rotting in the nick!

No one in their right mind has ever accused me of being sane and rational. Boring, yes, but sane and rational, NEVER!

Fingers crossed.

Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhh, bleah!

Damn wabbit hairs on my silk tie again!

and now what?

Tuesday was a good day.


I turned up on time. The Legal Aid solicitor turned up. My ex turned up with her solicitor in tow and we got down to the nitty-gritty.

Firstly the convenor outlined the process and how that anything we said here would not influence any other stuff in the Court (so you could bring up things without consquence). He asked for a 'opening statement', we were a bit suprised when the ex said that she just wanted her solicitor to speak on her behalf (Daddy's heavy hand obviously).

I said that I felt that we had not been able to air how things HAD changed in the past 18 months for us and we were still bounded by the things we had asked for at the beginning of the process. I said that I had moved on and knew that it wasn't practical to ask for residence (custody) for the children and that I was much more interested in greater contact and a bigger role in their lives outside of just contact (schooling, social events, etc).

I hope that everyone who matters in the decision-making for you and the kiddies can see what a good guy you are.

Their turn and that was an eye-opener.

The solicitor (Bitch-face, still don't like her) opened up. They had no objections at all to me seeing all three girls, they had no objection to me having the girls for overnights, they were willing to make an effort to include me in the extra-visitations stuff! It was just such a relief to hear it!!

The Legal Aid bod was even suprised. I had expected to still have to go back to battle about Sarah, and she's first off the list!! Incredible!

The convenor has taken notes and repeats everything to us just to make sure that we can believe our freaking ears. We start to sketch out a plan and I start to tick items off my list as we go. I had about two pages of notes of my own, and they disappear quickly.

After about 30 minutes we have a basic outline that can be typed up for our OK and signatures. We're red-hot!

They did, they did. Now it's only the hold-outs here at A2K that I have to work on :wink:

Nemmee. I'm on yer side.

Not that there aren't a few sticking points.

I wanted my ex to bring the kids up to a point instead of having to always pick them up at their home. Ex wants me to get a car and save them the 'long walk', I point out the it's pretty well the same walk they do every day to school (that's true - the railway station is only a minute and a half away). However, the car is a reality now - I really had to make a choice between either buying a car or paying for the Court case. That'll sort itself out.

Their suggestion is to drop out of the weeknight visit and concentrate on a longer weekend contact on alternate weekends. I'm a little torn - although it can be a real pain in the ass, I do love seeing them twice a week - however, overnights would be great! BUT to ensure that weekends are a reality I will have to make sure that there is adequate and proper facilities. It won't go ahead until I have obtained a residence with at least 2 bedrooms! Fair enough, but it will entail moving and paying a lot more in rent. And weekends WON'T begin till then, and at first it will be overnights - then a full weekend after three months.

A new job, and time with all three girls.

You're golden, boy!

What, I missed the job. Must be on another thread. Well, then good and golden.

Indeed it is ehBeth - don't forget my new mobile phone too!! Shiny, takes pictures, I can get emails - almost as much fun as a family!

pffft
men and their mobiles
i don't really get it
The Prince had 2 or 3 of them on the go when he was here. Men.