need wedding ring advice.....

Man I hate this tradition, but, if you want to go through with it you might as well do it right.

Firstly. Don't get too caught up with the diamond. It's a small part of a much larger whole, the ring. You should also consider whether you want to get her platinum or gold. There are other materials available but they are less traditional, tend to corode and should be considered with caution unless you know what you're doing.

If you're picking between platinum and gold then one easy way is to see whether she wears more silver or gold jewelry and then pick the ring to match. Note: When I say gold I mean 18k gold.

Then you've got to pick what kind of setting to put the diamond into. A single gem at the front (solitaire) is very traditional, as is a single gem with sidebars or three stone settings. I'd go for the one stone setting personally or the one stone with sidebars.

The classic and traditional diamond cuts to put in the ring are a round or princess setting. (round or square). If you're using a solitaire ring you might want to consider a heart cut diamond, this is less traditional and a bit more risky pick but it looks quite nice.

The diamond itself can range from $1,200 for a 0.5 carat (5mm diameter) stone to $10,000 for a 2 carat (8mm diameter) stone. Of course if you notice the discrepancy in the price range there you can cheat by getting three smaller stones for cheaper than a larger one. :wink:

A common recommendation for the price is two months of your salary, yes, it can be that expensive.

However if you're worried about being deceived over price then you should go into the store, be confident and say you're looking for a (for example) Princess cut platinum solitaire setting engagement ring in around a half carat range. That should at least keep them from trying to sell you the most expensive thing in stock.

Then once you've got a quote from that store go to at least three others. I can not stress this enough. If someone charges you more for the same ring mention your quote from the other store. If you got it in writing all the better.

I've heard three months' salary as an appropriate cost for the ring. If your primary concern is the size of the stone for the cost, Zales or another mall-type jeweller will probably be fine. I opted for stone quality (color, clarity, cut) over size and found that small local "mom and pop" type jewellers generally offered better quality diamonds than Zales, Hannoush, etc.

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!

For diamonds, it's the 4 c's. Color, cut, clarity and carat.

Color - A diamond of highest quality is pure white, or clear. Unless of course it is a rare yellow diamond. But you will most likely be looking at a white diamond and you don't want it to have any yellowing in it.

Cut - A well cut diamond refracts the light and gives the stone "fire". It will shine, sparkle and look unbelievable if cut right. If cut wrong, the stone may look dull.

Clarity - A good diamond will not have any visible flaws or clouding. Most diamonds will have some flaws unless they are small because it is very hard (and very expensive) to get a perfectly flawless stone, although they do sell them. You should not have to ask to see the stone under the microscope and you should definitely do this.

Carat - This is the one most people get hung up on, although I told my husband I'd rather have a good stone that was smaller than a crappy one that was big. Carat is obviously the size. Depending on the specs of the diamond, you can get a 1/4 carat for as much as a 1 carat.

Have you considered a different stone? I know diamond is traditional but some women like colored stones.

As far as the color of the band, silver or gold, if you decide to go silver spend the extra money and get a platinum ring. There are several reasons for this. 1- Platinum is a softer metal and if the ring gets scratched, instead of buffing off metal as they do with gold, they just "remold" the metal. You never lose metal. 2- White gold is something someone invented. There is really no such thing. It is a combination of gold and a few other metals. Before it is finished, white gold is still very yellow/grey looking. It is dipped in a silver metal called rhodium which makes it shiny and "white". This has to be repeated 1 time a year, maybe more, depending on the users wearing habits.

Shape and setting are all about preference. If your girl is clumsy like me, make sure to get a 6 prong setting in the largest stone of the ring. A 4 prong can easily fall out if knocked around. Also, look at how high the ring sits. Take into consideration her other jewelry. What kinds of stones does she like? Round, square (emerald cut)....what ever she likes you can find.

This website is a great resource, although I don't suggest buying from them because they are EXPENSIVE and finding yourself a small, privately owned shop will probably be a better experience for you. But check it out and do your homework.

A Diamond is Forever

I definitely agree with watchmakers when he (?) said get some prices first! That way you won't be taken by someone who thinks you have no clue what is going on. Shop around. A lot of smaller, private places will deal with you. You pay cash and they will knock off a certain amount off the price. Stuff like that. Just know what you want and go for it! This should be a fun experience! Not a chore so make it fun! This is a very special moment for both you and her!

http://www.thediamondbuyingguide.com/

This may give you some more information. I think though, that you need to talk to your soon-to-be fiancee first. For many women, an engagement ring has a very high emotional value, regardless of the cost. I think that it is important that the TWO of you go shopping for the ring. It would be very sad if you bought the ring, she disliked it, but did not have the heart to tell you.

Often, if a guy does not have a lot of money to spend, a ring with a stone other than a diamond might be a good alternative. That is also why you need to talk with your gf. See what she wants.

I think that a nice way to get engaged is for you to give her a "joke ring", and then go shopping together for the real one.

There are some women for whom engagement rings are not important. They would rather use the money towards the expenses that the two of you will have down the road. You need to find this out!



Good luck!

thanx for the advice guys...keep them coming if you have anymore.

for now, I know that she will like a gold ring for sure. she likes the yellow gold more then the platinum. As for the diamond, I'm pretty sure a 1 stone diamond is what she favors...she favors more the traditional style


i'll think about it some more and look at some rings look at some rings soon.

semidevil- Why don't you go on the internet with your gf, click on an engagement ring site, talk about what you see, and get a sense of what she likes? See her reaction to it. I think that it will tell you a lot!

It's a lot of money you are about to spend, and your girlfriend is presumably going to wear this ring for many years. It may be romantic for you to pick it out, buy it, and present it to her, but I don't think you can just return the item to the store if she should be so brave as to mention she doesn't like that exact ring.

I agree strongly with Phoenix that it would be good for her to have a choice re the ring design, and agree with the idea of a "toy" ring as a token that you want to look at rings together.

I picked my ring out in advance. I didn't know when or where and that was enough romance for me.

Usually by this time, people have talked about marriage. Make viewing a ring a casual thing....be in the mall and say hey, wanna do something fun? And then go in and let her look around.

I can't believe the jewelery industry claims guys should drop 2-3 months income on a ring. That's absolutely nuts. Hey, if you make under the povertly level, the ring isn't too much.

Some ladies don't like diamonds. i do not wear them and would never, out of principle. too much bloodshed and money-laundering behind the diamond mines. Does your lady like diamonds? Is her taste expensive? It seems you're not sure. Sneak the question in somehow to find out, so that she does not get a ring she might not like.

My man didn't spend nearly that on my ring and I love it!! I wouldn't trade it for a $10,000 ring ever.

There is NO reason to pay that much unless you want to.

You might also consider buying used or using some of your family jewellery and having it melted and made to a design she might like. Talk to a goldsmith and get his advice on appropriate materials.

i would take an old ring with a history behind it over any shiny expensive new ring, personally.

Antiques are absolutely gorgous. They don't make jewelry like that any more.

<shudder - as a mature woman I barely imagine being given a ring to wear as a symbol for life together that I had no choice in.> I know this is probably an unusual viewpoint.

I've never particularly liked diamonds (and agree with dagmaraka re their procurement) and am very interested in ring design in general. And the symbolism of the thing, that "here it is, babe", will you marry me and wear it forever? is, now, to me, starting off a little lopsided re a marital partnership.

yea, I"m just a bit worried about going ahead and buying it because it's hard to guage on what she likes......and if I flat out take her out and let her pick on out, I feel that i'm kind of ruining the romance and surprise of it......we have promise rings, but she doesn't know that i'm going get a real engagement ring.....

you know, she's modest, and if I ask what she likes, she will just tell me to not spend that much money on it, but I knw that she will be happy if I get her a real engagement ring.

So don't. Buy her what she will like.

Yes, me too.

When my wife and I were about to get engaged, we shopped around and she identified 4 or 5 different ring designs that she liked. I then was able to sort of surprise her (she didn't know which one I would pick) without the risk of possibly buying a ring she wouldn't like.