Is it me or my managers?

Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2018 11:41 pm
I'm 18 and just got my first job as a hostess at a busy restaurant, and I'm worried that I am going to be fired soon. There are two managers and two assistant managers.

I had two interviews, one with one manager one day and one with the other the next. I told both managers what hours I could do, and I told the first manager who is also the owner (we'll call her P) that I was also going to be in San Francisco for a week in December, and she said that that was fine.

I didn't mention the SF trip to the second one who is also the GM (we'll call him B). But I just naturally assumed that the first manager had told him: "Hey, I interviewed this girl and I like her. This is her first job, she can only do the morning shift, and she will be gone one week near Christmas." That only takes a few seconds to say. Also, I wanted to (and still) keep my conversations short with B. He wasn't mean to me but seemed like an extremely intimidating guy right off the bat. His voice is very authoritative, he's at least 6'5", he has a big beard, piercing eyes. I know he's my manager but I and some of the other employees keep away from him as much as possible.

Basically there is a lack of communication between all 4 of the managers regarding my scheduling, and it has caused some problems. I assumed they would communicate amongst each other about this. >>>Was I supposed to tell all 4 of them my schedule?<<< I know I should've mentioned the SF trip again in the second interview with B but- aside from thinking P would tell B- I don't think I can say "B is really f-ing intimidating and it makes me not want to talk to him period."

Terrible managers are common in the workforce though, and I feel like I should suck it up and deal. But I've already had men of authority abuse their power to the point where one even sexually harrassed/assaulted me. I worry being afraid of intimidating male bosses (not male bosses, but authoritative male bosses) will make my future job prospects more difficult.

I'm scared to face B in a couple days because I've been working here for 2 weeks now and he apparently has no idea I'm going to San Francisco in less than one week. I'm already not a very good hostess (I try my best though), and I worry this could be the nail in the coffin. I don't know his level of patience with newbies.

How should I explain myself?
Reply Mon 10 Dec, 2018 01:44 am
Best to talk to B and just explain what you told A?.

Sounds like there is no communication at the management. This is not something you can safely criticism, so keep it strictly informative. If it doesn't work out, be prepared to find a different job with more informed managers.
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Reply Mon 10 Dec, 2018 06:14 am
Scheduling is usually done by one person. Find out who that is and speak directly with that person.

My friend owns a restaurant. He is desperate for help. Many of his young employees don’t have a work ethic like you seem to have. You are a valuable person at the front of the house.

Don’t let any male intimidate you - no matter who they are. In fact you can always say “ I dont like the way that comment sounded. I will report you if you say it again”

Don’t come off as being agreeable to an environment where young employees are talked to like that. Speak up.

Quit if necessary. You have experience, you can always get another job. Good luck.
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Reply Mon 10 Dec, 2018 07:23 am
1) You don't have to take it when people mistreat you or the people around you. That's how that behavior is gotten away with, and almost condoned. Then the next generation comes along and thinks it's par for the course. It's not. Cut that **** off at the neck.
2) Never assume anyone will talk to anyone about anything that is important to you. If it matters to you, then you need to speak up or put it in writing (often better) so it is crystal clear. Becoming assertive at work is a skill to develop, and it's a valuable one to have.
3) Clear communications are short and to the point. If you've ever read Hemingway (and if you haven't, then start! Wink), you will recognize the style immediately. Short, staccato sentences work far, far better than long, drawn-out explanations.
4) Courtesy always counts. Please, thank you, I appreciate it, you're welcome. Even if other people are rude to you, BTW. This is also a skill to cultivate, particularly as you're dealing with the public.

"I cleared it with A; I'm taking December 20 - 28 off (or whatever the days are). I can work every night in December except those, and that includes New Year's Eve. Thanks!" Or whatever your schedule is. Sweeten the bad news of you not being available with the good news of all of the times you are available. If B has a problem with it, then he needs to take it up with A. If he asks you what you're doing (because he'd likely be fishing for a way to get you to come in anyway), then say, "I'm flying to SF for the week. What are your holiday plans?" That way, you explain that your working is an impossibility, and you've just given him an out. Diplomacy is yet another skill to develop.

I agree with PUNKEY; you seem to be a person with a good work ethic and that will help you no matter what you do in the future.

You can do this.
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