What is a date?

I am wondering if coffee and conversation (to me a cordial thing) will be considered pre"BAM" (in dlowan's parlance), in which case, I will have to migrate from this town again....

Aaaargh - look, I have been....er....having sex and beloveds for quite a while now - and this "date" thing kind of leaves me cold.


I think I have been on about 10 "dates" in my life.

Generally, I kind of hang out with fellas - and hang out more - and then - BAM. We be beloveds. Or - slow b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-m and we be beloveds. Or not. Sometimes we hang out and such, and after a few years, we be very close friends. Or we hang out, and have a friendly tango or two and we are still friends - or not. So it goes.

I remember my fourth "date".

It was with a housemate of some friends.

I dropped round to pick him up - and the house was in turmoil. My dear friends who lived there had just broken up. He (he was in his first year of teaching) was running off with his Principal's husband. She was off interstate to stay with a friend until he moved out. Everyone was there - Principal, husband, my "date", the other male housemate, the two members of the couple, and the Principal.

I ended up on the "date" with my date, and the other male housemate.

a. I realised the boys were outraged, not because our friend had broken up with our other friend in a truly mean way, but because he had left her for another MAN.

Homophobic - strike one.


b. My "date" was rude and arrogant to the waiter.

Strike two.


I have never "dated" again - (as opposed to finding partners) - until the last couple of years.


Whole damn thing is weird.

I prefer hanging out and then - BAM - or not.

And you make good friends, too.

Anyone who finds a date with a potential romantic partner to be a minefield of unspoken rules should consider the man date, a rendezvous between two straight men that is even more socially perilous.

Simply defined a man date is two heterosexual men socializing without the crutch of business or sports. It is two guys meeting for the kind of outing a straight man might reasonably arrange with a woman. Dining together across a table without the aid of a television is a man date; eating at a bar is not. Taking a walk in the park together is a man date; going for a jog is not. Attending the movie "Friday Night Lights" is a man date, but going to see the Jets play is definitely not.

"Sideways," the Oscar-winning film about two buddies touring the central California wine country on the eve of the wedding of one of them, is one long and boozy man date.

Although "man date" is a coinage invented for this article, appearing nowhere in the literature of male bonding (or of homosexual panic), the 30 to 40 straight men interviewed, from their 20's to their 50's, living in cities across the country, instantly recognized the peculiar ritual even if they had not consciously examined its dos and don'ts. Depending on the activity and on the two men involved, an undercurrent of homoeroticism that may be present determines what feels comfortable or not on a man date

When attending a movie together - preferably with explosions or heavy special effects, never a romantic comedy - guys prefer to put a nice big seat between each other. (This only sounds like an episode of "Seinfeld.") "Going to the movie with one other guy is sort of weird, but you can balance it out by having a seat space between you," explained Ames McArdle, a financial analyst in Washington.

All men, however, agree that one rule of guy-meets-guy time is inviolable: if a woman enters the picture, a man can drop his buddies, last minute, no questions asked.

A romantic date always trumps a man date.

"Going to the movie with one other guy is sort of weird, but you can balance it out by having a seat space between you," explained Ames McArdle.....

you are such a girl sometimes
probably why i love you

ehBeth wrote:

you are such a girl sometimes
probably why i love you

Kicky - you started this sh*t off - now get her to stop IT!!

It's the dried fruit of palm trees - too many will give you the runs.

I've learned that when she gets going, it's best to just get out of the way and let her go. If you fight it, it only makes her stronger.

Mr Stillwater wrote:

It's the dried fruit of palm trees - too many will give you the runs.

How to tell you're having a really dumb@ss day:
I was two pages beyond this before I got it.

For all my ineptitude at it, I miss dating. Even the scary parts...

Trifle - is that something like a fruit fool?