@Jcjorgensen03,
Jcjorgensen03 wrote:
.... I have decided that if it's what I have to do to prove my love and desire so be it.
That's a load of horse **** and, deep down, you know it.
Jcjorgensen03 wrote:But part of me just feels i shouldn't force myself to do something, especially sexually, that I don't want to do.
Exactly. In a marital partnership, one person does not call all of the shots.
Jcjorgensen03 wrote:But he is right and if I desire him and love him 100% i should do anything he wants me to regardless of how I feel about it.
What a load of nonsense. Did you know there's such a thing as marital rape? And it's actually illegal.
But beyond that, you are adults and he is acting like a whiny, spoiled child. He's pouting unless he gets his way. I do hope you don't have any other children.
Jcjorgensen03 wrote:I guess what I asking for here is someone to tell me that my love and desire does depend on proving it any way he wants me too, regardless on whether I like it or not. I just want someone to help me bury my doubt and say is not about what i want anymore. And just prove yourself to him. If you truly love him and desire him it's what i have to do to prove it.
Nope. I will not be the one to justify this crap.
Of course it's about what you want. It's about what you
both want. And let's say it's anal and you didn't like it but he's so hepped up for it that he wants it 24/7. Well, I got news for him. If your partner doesn't like it, then repeating that action will not magically turn it fun. Instead, it will turn it into a chore.
He has to decide whether he wants to potentially wreck your marriage over this. He's certainly not treating your feelings or preferences with any respect.
What else does he demand you do whether you want to or not? How else does he make you justify your love for him? If my husband was continually taking the temperature of my devotion to him, it would erode our relationship. Either he trusts you love him or he doesn't, and he shouldn't feel he needs a token of your love every day or week or whatever. You are married. That means he's already got his proof of your devotion to him.
His insecurity has the potential to drive you away if you wake up (and you
should) and realize marriage isn't all and only about what
he wants. He needs to decide if that is the metaphorical hill he wants to die on.
Oh, and one more thing. This is not how Master/slave relationships work, either, if that's the underlying motivation behind this. People in kink respect each other's boundaries. It's how they keep from permanently injuring each other.