Do you like strawberries or blueberries better? I just want to know what to put in your pancakes tomorrow morning...
First add the bed, then subtract the clothes, then divide your legs. What does that equal?
If I had a million boogers I'd still pick you.
Can I have a picture? ......So I can show Santa EXACTLY what I want for Christmas.
One Liners
This too may have been done before:
Confucius Say:
* Woman who goes to mans apartment for snack, gets titbit.
* Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
* Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
* Man who go to bed with sex on mind, wake up with solution in hand
* Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
* Virginity like balloon, one prick, all gone.
* Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
* He who fart in church, sit in own pew.
* Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
* A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
* Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
* Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants
* Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.
* War not determine who's right, war determines who's left.
* Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
* Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
* Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak
* Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring
* Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
* Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
* Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
Confucius Say (cont'd).....
Woman who sit on Judge's lap gets an honourable discharge.
Man with hand in pocket feels cocky all day.
Think I may have postd this before but I love it-
Nice shoes, fancy a f*ck?
how do the restaurants work in parts of Asia?
Customer A: "Waiter, there's no Fly in my soup"
Waiter: That damn frog in your salad must have gobbled it up. Would you like a glowworm instead ?"
Customer A: "Will do. I just want a light lunch"
how does the knowledge of the way restaurants work in parts of asia, help to pick up a girl ????
CalamityJane wrote:I'll tell you a a better approach roger:
While sitting in a bar, approach the lady of your choice
and ask her, if she could read the letter you're handing her,
since you seem to have forgotten your glasses. She'll glady oblige and in reading the letter she'll realize
that it is a "Dear John" letter from your soon to be ex.
Of course, you carefully drafted the letter yourself beforehand and know exactly what it entails.
With every sentence she's reading to you, you'll get
more and more distraught, and in the end, you will
ask her, if she could spend any time with you as you
couldn't possibly be alone right now.
I'm certain she'll jump into your truck by then.
Not quite sure if you are twisted individual or just willing to lend a helping hand...
"Don't worry. I'm not gonna go all Fatal Attraction on you."
I once said to a guy I'd had the hots for for months, "so, you want to do it, or what?" - ah, youth.
do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk past again?
A guy friend (scarily good looking)said to me inquisitively out of the blue 'So, do you want my number?'.
Was that a chat up line, was he genuine?I got confused!!
kendrajean32 wrote:You've been a BAD boy....go to my room.
I saw one except it was "You've been a bad girl...go to my room." I didn't know whether to be offended or just laugh outloud. I did the latter.
My gosh, my friend just told me one when I told him about this thread:
"If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as this question?"
Scientists have proven that women who have lots of sex have a greatly reduced risk of breast cancer. How would you like me to prolong your life?
Said to me by a drunk at a party:
Hey, I think you know me!
