@Lash,
No I'm not. You asked why you weren't "allowed to change."
I've given reason as to why I, and I suspect many others, don't believe you've changed.
You're like a reformed alcoholic with hip flasks full of hooch stashed all over the house.
If you want people to believe you've changed you need to act like you've changed. If you don't want that then just carry on like you're doing.
Btw, I would love it if you changed, joy in heaven about a sinner repenting and all that, but I honestly don't think you have.