The juxtaposition of the terms "fruit cup" and "fistful of bananas" makes me wonder a bit about your dietary habits, SDH.
Hey, I eat healthy.
But, uh, I ain't no "fruit!" I was, uh, just kidding about the virgin part.
Seriously.
What? I was.
I WAS, DAMMIT!!!!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that jazz.
However, if your bedmate is turning your stomach - a bag over the head will suffice. "It's a game sweetie, really!"
BTW beware of peeing off large ladies. They know how to flatten skinny guys!
There was this fat girl in Sydney - I got there just after the Royal Easter Holidays. Everyone was all partied out - anyway, I was trying to get out of an 0 for 7 slump, worked all night.
Sadly, or maybe it was good, I was 0 for 8 the next morning. Wouldn't even walk her out the door, and for that, I still feel bad today!
Later, met a charming girl from New Zealand. Went to see the rock opera "Hair" and a couple of other dates with her. Didn't score, but that's okay. It's not all about "Scoring", right?
A wiseman once said "beauty is only a lightswitch away."
Um, sure BillW. It's all about...um...
It's all about scoring Bill. I'm sorry to break this to you, but that's what it's all about. Keeping score. And women love it when you tell them about it. After the act, jump up and yell "I WON!" Then explain how she put you over the top to win the $32 pot you and your friends put together to see who could have sex with the most women that month.
Hang with me, and you'll have nothing but luck in the fast lane to love.
$32??!!!!
wow.........that's way better than the $11.87 I won when I was out fishing. Just hanging out with the wrong people I guess.
I had a real contribution, but after thinking about it I'm feeling a bit sick and now all I really want is to go home and take a shower and wash that image out of my brain.
Ahh, Slappy - reminds me of the time I finally scored with this one young lady I had been trying to get for months. Thoughtful me, afterwards mind you, asked her if she was on some kind of birth control. A dazed look came across her face, she jumped out of bed, started jumping up and down and reciting the mantra, "No baby, no baby, no baby, no baby" - for about 5 minutes; then ran into the bathroom.
My thoughts - "oh no"; and so I prayed very devoutedly for the next 2-3 months.
That's not a fun scenario.
Rememba' kids: When in doubt, pull out.
-Brought to you by uncle Slappy.
Prayers worked that time, and to the best of my knowledge, I spent my youth without any mishaps and my futures looks bright for non to happen there either!
To the best of your knowledge...never know, there might be a lil' BillW running around that doesn't send you father's day cards.
Could be a millionaire now - who knows -
"The Shadow knows!"
not in a monkey whorehouse with a fistful of bananas? Oh what sad times are these
Well I can usually figure who the bronze star is before i would get them into that situation.
"stay alive; don't drink and dive"
