I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I've been thinking about the whole clothes thing, and it seems to me that sozlet is trying on a particular image. And that reminded me of when I visited an image consultant so I'm going to share with you some of the wisdom I got from her when it comes to fashion.
There are 6 main types of style. Everyone has all of them in them but 3 tend to dominate with 1
really dominating. Men have this, too, but the lines are not as clearly drawn as they are with women's fashions so I'll only comment on those.
(1) [u]Alluring[/u] - Tight pants, low necklines and big hair are all hallmarks of the alluring look. Think of the Peg Bundy character in Married With Children and you've got alluring -- she was dressed in that style from head to foot. Alluring is intended to attract men in the short term. Fabrics tend to be plain (though leopard print is a favored patterned) and the clothes are often inexpensive. It's not likely that a hat would be worn. A lot of teenaged girls go through an alluring phase, and these days that phase is being pushed to a younger and younger age. It is intended to be provocative.
(2) [u]Classic[/u] - Conservative clothing with few details are all a part of the classic look. Think of female bankers and lawyers and you come up with classic. It is intended to present an image of braininess and competency, but also of conservativism. Fabrics are of mixed quality but are not super-expensive, usually. Clothing is tailored but not tight. Hair is often straight, restrained or short. Jewelry, if worn, is minimal. Patterns are pinstripes, houndstooth and seersucker and some paisleys, and little else. A hat is unlikely, unless it is something practical for the elements or perhaps a beret or very basic fedora.
(3) [u]Dramatic[/u] - Impact is the hallmark of the dramatic look. Capes, flowing clothing and sumptuous fabrics are all a part of the look. Think of classic divas like Maria Callas and that's the dramatic look. Prints are rare. Jewelry is large and interesting. The image is of being a high maintenance person. Hair tends to be long or styled in a unique manner, such as a French twist. Some hats might be worn, like Ingrid Bergman's in Casablanca, which is a very dramatically styled piece.
(4) [u]Exotic[/u] - This is not the same as dramatic. Exotic involves offbeat or foreign-type looks, such as dashikis, but also Native American styles. Fabrics tend to be natural (flax, cotton, wool, that sort of thing) and patterns are everywhere. Jewelry is often composed of very different elements, such as wood and feathers. Cher often dresses in the exotic style. Image is of being different. A lot of teens go into this look, too - Goth and hippie chick are mixes of styles which both draw on exotic quite a bit. Hair is uniquely styled, with dreadlocks and afros coexisting with braiding and beading. Some hats might be worn, a beret fits in here (berets are also classic).
(5) [u]Feminine[/u] - Girly girl clothes and hair are the hallmark of the feminine style. Everything is soft and yielding. Fabrics are natural and tend to not be too expensive. Details abound, from lace collars to beading on gowns to an overabundance of fasteners (buttons, hooks, etc.). Jewelry is often light in color and round, think of strings of pearls (pearls can also be classic) but also of small gold watches with round faces and most non-drop earring styles. Patterns are polka dots, light-colored paisleys, toile, gingham, ditsy (ditsy is tiny floral which from a distance looks like scattered dots) and floral. Hair tends to be curly, and is often long, either loose or in barrettes, ribbons or headbands. A portrait hat might be worn. The image is nonthreatening and feminine, and is more or less foolproof if a woman is looking to attract a mate (not a one-night-stand, but a long-term boyfriend or husband). It looks wifely. Rent "You've Got Mail" and check out Meg Ryan's outfits. From her sweater sets to her small, tasteful earrings to her modest skirts and sensible shoes, she is feminine all the way.
(6) [u]Sporty[/u] - Sporty could also be called comfortable, it's not just for athletes. Fabrics are natural or high-tech, like lycra. Patterns are athletic stripe but really nothing else; this clothing is stripped-down and tends to be devoid of fussy detailing. Tee shirts, Bermuda shorts, khakis (they are also classic) and jeans are all sporty. Sneakers and sweats are also sporty; so are polo shirts and most skorts and, of course, standard tennis dresses. Billie Jean King is sporty; Ellen DeGeneres often is, too, and so is Serena Williams (although she mixes it with feminine and exotic). The image is comfort but that may also be interpreted as sloppiness and laziness. Hair is functional, either short (Dorothy Hamill) or pulled back (Mary Pierce). Jewelry is minimal, if present at all (tiny earrings, not much else). A baseball cap or cowboy hat might be worn.
What does it all mean? Well, notice I didn't really get into colors. Pink can go into any of these categories, although we tend to associate it with feminine. But hot pink sneakers are sporty. A light pink cape is dramatic. A pink sari is exotic. A plain pink suit or blouse is classic. A clingy pink blouse or a pink miniskirt is alluring.
I am a mix of sporty (mostly, easily over half the time), classic (suits and classic khakis for work) and feminine (mainly with my long curly hair and a few details, such as my wedding ring has floral etching). I also happen to embody the three most common styles in the US these days. Dramatic, exotic and alluring are less common. Dramatic and exotic because the clothes can be expensive or difficult to find, and alluring because it can result in a woman being hit on a lot, and not every woman wants that all the time. Go to a public place some time, one which does not skew people into one style or another (e. g. take a long bus ride or sit on a public bench) and do some people-watching, and some mental categorizing. You'll find that sporty crops up a good percentage of the time, as does classic. Feminine is a more distant third and then the other three bring up the rear. Do your people-watching at a High School and alluring will crop up more among the students, along with sporty and classic. Watch at an amusement park or sporting event and sporty rules, then classic, and everything else brings up the rear. Watch on a bus or train full of commuters and classic is in the spotlight, followed by sporty and feminine more or less neck and neck, then exotic and dramatic together, with alluring a very distant sixth.
But my mother is mainly feminine, with classic and a little bit of sporty thrown in. So you can see why we could not go clothes shopping together when I was a kid (add in the fact that she has winter coloring and I have spring coloring, and we agreed on nearly nothing. I shopped for myself by the time I hit age 13).
I think that might be the case with you and sozlet, plus the image thing. sozlet is trying on a feminine image, but since you've said she enjoys the spotlight she's probably got dramatic in her as well. She may also have some measure of sporty (it's hard to not be at least a little sporty in the US because we have a very casual culture when it comes to fashion), but not as much as you do. You are more sporty and classic (from the photos I've seen), along with feminine, so far as I can recall. So you two may very well shake out as
sozobe ........................... sozlet
sporty ........................... feminine
classic ........................... dramatic
feminine ........................... sporty
You can see there is the potential for differences of opinion.
sozlet also doesn't have a fully developed sense of style, so she may be confusing pink with feminine. But feminine doesn't have to be pink any more than pink has to be feminine. Feminine can also come through with detailing. She may be refusing to wear leggings but it may just be because they might not have enough details to suit her. She might like leggings with lace cuffs or floral prints.
She may be trying on this feminine style because she is hanging around with the boys. Or, adults may be giving her positive reinforcement that she values more, e. g. she may prefer being called pretty to being called brave or smart. I can see where Disney films could play a role, because a lot of Disney flicks value femininity very highly. But has she seen Beauty and the Beast? Belle is brainy and feminine. Does sozlet realize that she can be both?
Next time you go shopping for clothing together, perhaps you can look for styles that are practical (warm for cool weather, etc.) but that have feminine detailing or patterning. Another possibility is to sew on some detailing to an otherwise non-feminine article of clothing, such as a lace detail or a fancier button. That might give sozlet what she wants without dressing her head to foot in pink, and if she thinks about her clothes, and learns how to sew and add her own detailwork (and about how much less it costs than to buy the detailing premade), I think those are good lessons to learn.
About the categories above - I've found that if I go into a new situation and people are not reacting to me the way I want them to, the easiest thing is to reassess my style and go back the following day dressed more in a style that presents the image that I want to project. If I'm not taken seriously in business, I go straight to classic. If I am treated too much like one of the guys, I head for feminine. If I am overlooked as dull and not unique, I add something dramatic or exotic (usually with how I do my hair). If someone behaves as if I am too delicate to do something, I answer by adding more sporty elements to my look. And, by the way,
it works.
