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Sat 18 Aug, 2018 08:32 pm
My boyfriend is travelling for work, and just as we usually do when the night is coming to an end, I ask him what his favorite part of his day has been. I usually am always the one to ask this question first, and normally he will ask me the same. His response this time was as though the question is annoying, and that he already shared his day with me through the pictures he had sent me (vulentarily he sends me pics and I love that he does this). I explained that I enjoy knowing what was most profound to him or stood out in his mind (he already knows this) but he continues to tell me I’m putting him on the spot as I expect a grand story. This confuses me because when we share these thoughts, sometimes our fav part of the day is as simple as a nap we had in the middle of the day, or anything! He has a busy week ahead so instead of continuing on the subject over the phone, I send him an email following our convo explaining that I don’t mean to pressure him, and I ask because I’m interested in his stories, and I feel closer together in a simple way. Would asking this question come across as an annoying, pressuring question? We’ve had our ups and downs throughout our relationship, but I wonder if I’m doing something wrong.
@sabzee,
Don't ask every single day. That
is annoying. And he is put on the spot, to tell you something, anything.
How about saving it up for Saturday and asking him what his favorite part of the
week was?
@jespah,
Thanks Jespah. Though I should have said that it’s ordinary to ask this question, but I don’t ask every night. Prior to this time, it was awhile ago since we last did this(month or so) Definitely not an every day thing. I will rephrase it though and ask about his week instead maybe?
i would suggest you hilite your day and most significant thing you did. leave him the option to say what he wants to you. he is probably fearful you are being too dominant in the relationship and feels his manhood being challenged.
@sabzee,
Or play it by ear. Is it so drastically important for you to know this information?
@jespah,
In retrospect it probably isn’t so important at all.. just the way he responded that hurts my feelings, because I only ask out of love. I recongnize that I may be too sensitive at times (:
@bunnyhabit ,
Makes sense as my zodiac sign is Capricorn, and if it stands for anything he’s 12 years my senior. I just didn’t realize by doing this that it could be challenging for him. Thanks for the insight!
The question IS annoying and sounds like a nosy parent trying to trap the child into revealing something he did that was naughty.
@PUNKEY,
Hmm I didn’t see it that way
@sabzee,
I doubt many people see it that way as a one off.
But if asked frequently, it can be annoying - particularly as the phrasing of the question implies that he should be able to provide a highlight...when some days just suck for some people, and other days little to nothing of note happens...
You could always tray variations, or phrase it as a question (that way, if nothing happened, or he doesn't feel like talking, it could just be a 'no')
@sabzee,
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. I think he may have had a particularly trying day and he took it out on you.
Having said that, it IS customary to ask how one's day went, without a rude, snarky comment attached to it. Couples normally vent to each other about work stuff and he can't be bothered to at least say something in a civil manner, that would burn my biscuits.
Don't use me as your emotional punching bag when I ask a simple question. There are many responses he could have given but he chose to be a condescending ass. In which case, I'd re-think how he handles stress. And that may or may not be the person I'd want to spend any more time with depending on whether it's a recurring pattern in the relationship.
It seems to me that he has already communicated with you that he does find this habit of yours annoying, so why are you asking strangers how we feel? Isn't the important thing here that he has told you how HE feels? The trouble with some people in relationships and obviously in your mind, is that you want him to enjoy what you want from him. In other words this habit at the end of the day you want him to enjoy because you do. The answer is simple, share your thoughts about your day with him but do not expect his to comply. What is it that he loves about the end of the day, or at any point? You need to give him what he needs. Relationships are empty boxes that remain empty if you do not gift them. Your job in the relationship is to gift him. If he in turn does not gift you back, then the relationship is a failure. Stop worrying about getting and get on with the giving.
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