I am hurt in the relationship, can I make it better?

Hi am in the same sex relationship 5 years. Me and my girlfriend see each other one month, month and a half every year, cause we live in different countries. The rest of the time we talk on skype, every day at least 3 hours and chatting. This time when I went I was supposed to stay 4 months. I am learning the language and I dont know anybody else there except my girlfriend and her family. Her bad side is that she can yell, curse, humiliating me in front of other people(example saying not gonna be my tourist guide)her friends, family. This time when we fight she was leaving me in the house alone not coming after work and when I ask with a message if she gonna come home she was responding i am at my mom's ( when she is there her mom doesnt want her to use the phone, her mom has cancer and is under chemo). I was crying, feeling I want to leave. I stayed and pointed out the bad behaviour. I thought she will become better person, that is overwhelmed with the situation with her mom, and from all the family she is helping the most for her mom. Her best friend is her ex(has husband and kids and lives in different country) and she helped her in worst times years ago.i asked to be friends with her.She told me that when her ex will come they will go outside alone as a friends but not me, cause they have a lot of things to talk and I can not blend into. I said no. Few days after her mom gets worst and took into the hospital, then my girlfriend had to be in a hospital to watch over her mom 5-6 hours a day(she told me I couldnt go) plus 5 hours at work. I felt so frustrated, I felt I couldnt do anything. I was having this doubts where she goes and at the same time felt guilty for that cause her mom. I saw pictures of her and another ex she was telling me about and the last time I found another picture and she tell me she went there to see her mom only. On the social media she keeps pictures with the places where she has been with her exes. She keeps pictures on her lap top and says I won't give you the lap top cause you might see something you dont like. She become overwhelmed that she has to do a lot of things like go to work, drive, take care of her mom, buy food. She knew I couldnt drive, not at the beggining. I was cooking. Then the things got bad and I took my air ticket to go back after a month spend there. I told her and we had a fight, 5-6 hours before the flight she told me through message cause she was at work that she wanted me to stay. I was crying with hours, thinking why she didnt treat me better, why she didnt share her feelings more with me. And for the first time in my life with so many plane travels i felt panic attacks in the pplanes and in the apartment when I come back I felt the same. I remember all that times when I was alone in the house crying and all the fights I was freezing and shaking. She is saying that is my fault that i left and that we didnt talk about the issue.